Commitment-phobic, anyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Commitment-phobic, anyone?
34
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 9:04am
Question 1. I have a sinking suspicion that the guy I am about to see today for the second time has serious commitment issues. Am I wasting my time? Can these people ever change? I have read an article sometime ago that suggest - run the other way while you still can.
Question 2. If a guy is 36 and has been doing old for at least 5 years - that's a bad sign, isn't it?
Any advice here?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:13am

But, ivos, you would be standing him up if you ignore the call. He would still not know what's going on. Do you remember what that feels like?

A final email is really called for here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:18am
Thank you Pianoguy, you are very kind.
I found your reply very informative and it makes perfect sense.
I have experienced commitment-phobic relationship 1st hand and it was very painful in the end.
I am a very positive and proactive person but in all honesty and looking at all hard facts - I do realize that most likely I will be single for a while.
There are many people that are in their mid-, late 30's that haven't been married and despite what I hear from some folks here - my believe is it will be incredibly difficult for a guy like that to "give up" his freedom if he haven't done so before.
There are men that were married and have 2 or even 3 children. I have decided - it's not for me either. I was married to a man that has 2 children from his previous marriage and after 9 years I divorced him for many other reasons but I don't think I could do this again. I have 1 son and really prefer to date people with 1 or less children. It may not be fare but this is what works for me.
Now, that leaves us with late 20's and early 30's men but than again - we all know the "bike shop guy" :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:23am
<>
I will do the e-mail way.
Thanks Amjay!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:25am

Remember the power phrase for the day --- "not the connection I'm looking for"....


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:42am
Ehh,
I just sent an e-mail.
"Would like to cancel tomorrow plans. I just don't feel we are a good match", block, done.


Edited 4/19/2005 9:43 am ET ET by ivos2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:46am
Good for you! Now, go ahead and ignore his calls.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 10:00am

tsk-tsk-tsk

Don't you think he was worth at least a new cliche or two....maybe throw in a "getting back together with my ex"....

Of course my favorite is the "my boyfriend who ripped the door off the hinges is being released from prison tomorrow so could we move the date earlier and btw please don't park in front so his biker buddies won't see your car - I think they're watching my house. Look forward to meeting you."

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:10pm

Both my best buds look like adrian paul.

CONTINUOUSLY, they are mobbed by gorgeous chics.

Even wearing wedding rings, they are freakin mobbed.

I mean, go out for lunch, gorgeous chics leaving them
sticky notes here's my number and email

WEARING A RING

"It pays to look like Adrian Paul"

No matter what you say, its a lie.

It does. It does pay to look like adrian paul above all else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:19pm

LG, you made me laugh!
I had a crappy day. I can't look up this board at work - "access denied!" My dating life is at null and here it is - a perfect comment that made me laugh..
I will be sure to save this idea! That was very creative. I can't believe you are an accountant :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:46pm
I prefer wiry (skinny) looking guys that are pale and look like they are going to faint :)
I’ve read this somewhere but it describes my taste in men.