confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
confused
17
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 9:31am
I started talking to somebody online about a month ago and things were going really well so we swapped phone numbers and talked every night for about 2 hours and sometimes during the day.

Pages

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: walker_sam
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 4:03pm
How long has it been since his last relationship/divorce/or whatever?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2009
In reply to: walker_sam
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 6:15pm

I don’t see what you’re confused about – he was very straight-up and clear with you:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
In reply to: walker_sam
Sun, 04-18-2010 - 1:46pm

He has been divorced for 19 years and has said all the right things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
In reply to: walker_sam
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:30pm
ok, we still email every night on our private emails sometimes for hours.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2009
In reply to: walker_sam
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 12:36am

>so I think he likes me more than he is ready for himself.....could that be a reasonable assumption?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2009
In reply to: walker_sam
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 10:44am

I really really like this guy and have agreed to just friendship....I think he likes me more than he is ready for himself.....could that be a reasonable assumption?


Sam,


He was honest with you--he doesn't want a relationship. So don't overanalyze the situation and make it something it's not. You'll only be disappointed.


If you can handle 'talking' to him without it leading to fantasies that it might become more, great. But I'd be spending energy in areas with more potential if it were me.


Somewhere out there is a guy who is ready for a relationship and will appreciate that you are on the same page.


Your final reward will be heartaches and tears if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.          &nb

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: walker_sam
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 10:50am
I'm thinking that what this guy wants is a "pen pal"--you know, someone he can bear his soul to but not have a real relationship with. I also think that you are wasting your Friday nights emailing this guy when you could be out somewhere meeting someone who wants to have a real life relationship w/ you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
In reply to: walker_sam
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 10:45pm
I can, I have lots of platonic male friends and when I find somebody I am interested in, I won't let this hold me back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
In reply to: walker_sam
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 2:14pm

I have had similar experiences. Many, many different variations of it, but pretty much the same gist. I always try to convince myself I can handle "just friendship." I convince myself that, "Maybe he'll change his mind and decide he wants me." I tell myself, "I won't let it hold me back from meeting someone else." What always happened? I ended up disappointed. Always. Every time.

Out of all the relationships I've had, none of them started out with a guy telling me he wasn't ready for a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2010
In reply to: walker_sam
Thu, 05-06-2010 - 4:20pm

It sounds like he is lonely and likes you as a friend but there is no sexual attraction. I would think the last thing you'd want is a serious relationship now since you are newly divorced. I avoid newly divorced men like the plague because they need time to heal -- they always claim they don't!

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Date other men while you are email buddies with this one if you don't want to let him go, but don't be surprised if things cool off when he finds someone he is sexually attracted to.

Men are never too scared to date you if they are really interested. Women tell themselves that fairytale when they are in denial. Men are pretty simple creatures -- if they like you, they call and take you out. With technology today, it doesn't matter where in the world they are.

Pages