Confused
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 08-29-2005 - 11:51am |
Ok, so I wrote about this great guy I met online back in May. We dated for about a month and I was really taken by him. He was good looking, treated me great, had great friends etc. and we really seemed to get along. He ended up calling me one night and told me that he was speaking to his ex again and didn't think it was fair to keep dating me when he's thinking about someone else. Now, I knew about this girl, knew they had just broken up etc. and he was still a little hesitant with things, so it didn't come as a huge shock. He was a great guy though and pretty much the only guy who's been up-front and honest with me. So we lose touch, till about a month or so ago when I see him online. I say hi and he writes me, we talked for a few weeks on yahoo messenger. He tells me how he went to see her and that it was an eye opener for him (long distance relationship) and how he knew it wasn't right and he couldn't move from his hometown city. So they haven't spoken. I was a friend to him, gave him advice etc. The more we talked, the more it became a little more flirty.
Finally one night we exchanged numbers again, he called me that Friday seeing if I wanted to hang out, but I was too tired. Last Tuesday I was online and he was too and his friend J wanted to talk to me. So I talk to J online for a little bit, then J asks "wanna grab a drink with us? A says he's buying." I thought that was a little strange, that A didn't ask me himself. I said sure, so we met up for drinks, had a great time and at the end of the night A kissed me, which shocked the heck out of me. I wasn't sure he was still interested in me that way.
So I'm online again Saturday night, trying to decide what to do for the evening when A IMs me again. This time his friend D talks to me and does the same thing "you and your friends should come hang out with us at our local bar!" Long story short, nothign was going on, so we headed up to meet them. Again had a great time, he bought me beers, was very attentive but not overly flirty. At the end of the night he kissed me again before getting into my car, this time a little bit longer. I told him to "give me a call" he said "i will." His friends and I get a long GREAT, there were times when he left the table to speak to someone and I was just having a great time with his friends. He kept looking over to check up on me and he knew I was OK.
So that brings us to last night (Sunday) I saw he was online and decided to see how it was getting up so early. We left the bar at 1am and he had to be up at 5am. So I IM him...and he never writes back, for the next 2 hours I'm online. He's there, he's not idle. So I have no clue what to think now. Seems like he's playing games or his head isn't in the right place and he doesn't know what he wants. Am I overreacting here? I want to take things slow with him because of all the ex stuff. I'm backing off and letting him take the reigns for sure. I'm not even going to sign on to messenger this week. If he wants to talk, he can call me like normal people. UGH! Why play games? I just thought it was rude...
layx2

Layx2-
I am sorry to sound sooo cliche' but "He is just not "that" into you.
CL-Truewild1969
For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;
The whole asking you out through his friends is weird, but the IM thing could just be that he logged on and then walked away from his computer. It will look like he is still there even if he is not.
Now after a certain amount of time, the icon will go to "idle" if he is not chatting with anyone. Did that happen or did it never go to "idle"?
BTW, some guys just aren't worth the trouble.
To answer a couple of questions:
He wasn't idle at all. I was up for 2 hours after I sent the message. It's very strange, every other time he has responded to me or chatted with me.
He does know me and he has taken me out and winned and dinned me. Probably more than any other man. We dated back in May for a little over a month and hung out a lot. It wasn't all about going out drinking. He took me to really nice restaraunts, treated me like a lady and everything. He wouldn't even go past second base, which was fine with me. He had a really serious talk with me one night on how he's not into just casual sex and that he wants to be commited to someone before he sleeps with them. He didn't go back on that and I believe him whole-heartedly. In fact, we talked about that same thing last week again. He is a really good guy, I'm just not sure what happened last night.
I'm just going to stay off messenger and if he wants to contact me, he can call me. I'm not making any moves here, the ball is in his court. We'll see what happens.
Layx2
Hi there,
If he is too shy/scared to ask you out when he is talking to you and must do it via his friend. I doubt he will have the nerve to call you and ask you out. Me personally, I prefer a guy thats a little more aggressive. If you like more passive guys you should just take the lead and pursue him, I doubt he is going to get more aggressive as time goes by.
What do you have to lose?
sorry,my bad didn't know the whole story...
hmm not sure maybe he is just uncertain right now
That's what I'm thinking, that's he's not sure what he wants and doesn't want to put me in the middle of it again like last time. Maybe he just wants to take things slow, which is completely fine with me. When we dated back in May, we saw each other almot every other day and maybe it just got to be too much, especially after just breaking up with someone. I know he likes me, I know he's attracted to me at least and we have a lot of fun together. I don't want to be the pursuer in this because I don't want to push him and make him think that I want something serious with him. I'm just going to play things cool. When we were leaving Saturday after he kissed me I said "give me a call." He said "I will." So I think that pretty much says "hey, call me!" LOL We'll see if he does!
Layx2
Layx2-Have you read the book "He is just not that into you?"........unfortunately this is a classic case.
CL-Truewild1969
For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;