Confused after meeting him......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Confused after meeting him......
3
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:09pm

Hey everyone-

Happy Valentine's day! A coworker made some really nicely decorated sugar cookie hearts on a stick......so I have some indication of the day here in my office. =0)

So you may remember my post last week about going to a town for the weekend and having a little face to face meeting with someone I met on match. Well, I did make the trip, had a lovely time in the area (great beaches!), and met my new friend. Things went very well- we hit it off, spent some quality time, hung out in his town, was shown around, invited to brunch at his place with some of his friends. Felt very comfortable and well, promising. He was saying things like "I'll come visit you in a couple of weeks if you want, or maybe you can come back?" I just kind of didn't reply to that one. But I like this man, he interests me, and there's def. some chemistry.

Here comes the confusion... so right before I left town he got some bad news on the business front (having to do with a client who was leaving for Australia, yadda yadda), and then after I left got some tough family news too. He is now being very short with me and hasn't returned an e-mail, and briefly IM'd me saying he would be in touch when things get a little more on even keel.

I'm really confused- I don't know if this is his way of blowing me off, and he is just not that into me, or if I should just back off and assume that what he said is really the case- that he'll be in touch. I don't like to be in limbo, and if he's blowing me off, I'd like to know. Its confusing, because I *felt* that spark, and I don't think he was just being polite. I absolutely hate to have to wait around..... it sucks.

So, any advice? I guess I really don't have any choice but to take him at his word, and let him know I'm concerned and here if he wants to reconnect.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:25pm

This is one of those "only time will tell" situations. I'd just let it be for now, and if he gets in touch with you again, great; if not, oh well. In the meantime, you should definitely keep contacting and dating others.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 1:37pm
I would send him an email saying just that. Say that you enjoyed meeting him and you're sorry that he's having a tough time and that when things settle down to give you a shout. You might also say that if he needs anything to let you know. Then leave it at that. Done. Even though you felt a connection, you only met him the one time. Don't put all your eggs in one basket with this guy. Once you send the email, prepare yourself that you very well might not hear from him again and don't take it personally. It's tough to do that, but it really isn't you at this point.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2006
Sun, 02-19-2006 - 5:52pm

I am very new here, and fairly new to the dating scene (again), but I do have one piece of advice. Whatever you do, DON'T allow yourself to get too hung up on this guy. Although it could be busy for him and stressful and he needs time to adjust... think of how you would feel. If you were going through some tough times wouldn't it be nice to have someone to share those with? Or someone to atleast pick you up from feeling down? I'm not saying that he's not into you... he could be reclusive when times are tough... but PLEASE distance yourself so that you don't get hurt. If it were me, I would just write him off at this point. I've unfortunately had some bad experiences with men - one actually told me "I was the best thing that ever happened to him", then he got "busy", then the next time I saw him was at the bar I work at, flirting with another girl a month later...? If he was so busy, he could have called. Luckily, I was ok and handled the situation really well, but that could have crushed me. (I did feel like someone kicked me in the stomach when I saw him... but that was just shock!)

Good Luck to you!!

jo