Confused and Rejected?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Confused and Rejected?
15
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 6:27am
Hi, I am new to this, but I came across this as I was trying to figure out a dating dilemma. Alright, I went out with a guy from Match.com on Saturday, a guy who winked at me. We had (what I thought) was a great time, a lot of laughs and some flirting as well. The guy was so nice and seemed really interested. Before we split up to go on separate trains, he gave me a hug and said "Next time we'll have to go up by some bars with you and your roommates." And then he said hed call tomorrow--Sunday. He texted me when I got home to say "Thanks for the good time :)". Let me know if you get back ok. Well, it is now Tuesday and I'm freaking out because he hasn't called. And he's been back on the Match website so he obviously had time to do that but not to get back to me. Granted, I am new to the whole online dating thing, but I really like this guy. I am just looking for some advice as to what this could mean and what my next step should be. Thank you!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 10:36am

Most of my second dates were confirmed during the first date but not ALL.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 11:03am
Yep, those expectations get us into trouble every time. :0 There are just too many variables in dating and in life in general. We truthfully do not know why someone does not feel chemistry with us or why we don't feel it with them. Sometimes you can know that someone's actions or inactions are a turn-off, but you can't always explain why or how we feel sometimes. But you see people together all the time who seem total opposites of each other, but they seem happy regardless. So, there is no real formula or combination that is fool proof. If we could market such a concept or product, we'd be rich for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 10:08pm
I agree with you - chemistry is such an interesting thing of what creates it and what draws us in - so many times I wished I had it for someone just as I'm sure they wished they had it with me....sigh!

"The Small Peanut"


How many pounds of peanuts are consumed in the United States each year?

2.4 billion pounds! About 50% is consumed as peanut butter.
Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:20pm
The last two guys have said at the end of the dates that we'd have to continue chatting. I took that to mean that if phone, messaging went well, we'd probably go out again. I agree with the others that expectations are trouble. I really don't let myself get excited much anymore, which is fine with me because I wouldn't want to do anything stupid.:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2004
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 9:38pm

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I agree, one should not draw hasty conclusions based on a first date. I always have VERY noncommittal first dates on OLD, as I consider that this is the phase when people get to know each other and should not do anything else together than have a cup of coffee or a drink (yes, maybe I am a little old fashioned). But many people don't understand that. I had a funny instance with a Match guy some time ago, with whom I had a nice first date as I saw it, but then got a really harsh email the next morning that he felt that we were not a good match. I chose not to get angry, wrote a couple of lines in reply that I had really enjoyed the date but if he thinks so, that is fine, to which he replied that actually, he had found me "incredibly sexy" and wants to "start over." Needless to say, I didn't see him any more, I was just not emotionally up to it.

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