Confused... Is it normal with OLD

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Confused... Is it normal with OLD
8
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 9:21pm

I am looking for some feedback... I got a wink from a guy on Match.com, we started emailing each other and seemed to have a lot of things in common, so we decided talk on the phone, we talked for about 4 hours and agreed to meet. We met Sunday evening and it was amazing, there was definately chemistry between us, I know that kissing on the first date is against "some" of the rules but I am glad I did. It could have easily gone much further than that but we both agreed that it was far too soon. Anyway, he said he would chat with me on yahoo the next day... sure enough first thing in the morning he was sending messages, we chatted all through out the day and discussed getting together again last night but decided we both had things we needed to do and agreed to get together Tuesday (tonight)...... Now this is where I am confused.... I have not heard from him all day??? Is this normal for OLD? Could I have been that far off on what I thought was great chemistry? I am really confused and would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 9:31pm

Don't panic yet.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 9:37pm
Okay... your right! I am over reacting... we did not have concrete plans, just that we were going to get together tonight. I think I will hold off until tomorrow to send him a note. (I don't want to appear desperate!) Thanks for the OLD advice. I certainly can use it! I sure hope this OLD thing gets easier! LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 9:41pm

Definitely wait until tomorrow.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 9:53pm
UGH! What a way to start over in the dating scene! But it is nice to have input from those that have been there! Thanks a million!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 12:47am

Update: This guy (a$#bite) was online(Match) tonight! There are no excuses now! Oh how I wanted to send a nasty message.... but I am not that desperate! And he is not worth my time (yet i am here telling you my story) Why does this have to be so childish? This should be a simple thing?

Update update: While I am updating this post I receive the below message:

Him: sorry work was busy and I grandfather had eye surgery today to replace his lens
Me: I thought we had plans
Him: I thought we were going to dinner on thursday and only joking about today to move past the 2nd date (I made a comment about having a 3rd date rule)
Him: lol
Me: hmmm
Me: guess i did not get the joke
Him: well you know a lot of people think they have a sense of humor, but they really don't
Him: you have your rules and we have been joking about the 2nd and 3rd date rules
Him: pretty much the entire time since sunday night (It is only Tues night now!)
Me: I am confused... is it a joke?
Him: is what a joke?
Me: ok... guess we had different opinions of what the plans were?
Me: I was under the impression that we were going to get together tonight
but you took that as a joke
Him: Im apologize since its probably my fault that you feel that way
Him: but its been too long of a day to be stressed so be happy and have a glass of wine
Me: a glass of wine sounds good right about now
Him: I need food and a distent friend supposedly has a 2 page spread in outdoor photographer so I am going to go to B&N and then grab some food
Him: Talk to ya later
Me: Whatever.

HELP... Is this a lost cause? Was I totally wrong in the beginning? What should I do?


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 1:08am

It sounds like it was a misunderstanding--he thought that the so-called 2nd date for tonight was just a joke related to your joking about getting past the 2nd date so you can have sex, and you thought he was serious. I wouldn't sweat it, except that it bothers me that he's making such a big deal about this 3rd date thing...like he's really expecting you to jump into bed with him that soon (now, if that's your thing, that's cool--I just personally think the whole 3rd date "rule" is absolutely ridiculous and perpetuated by men so they can get laid without a lot of time invested).

Plus the way he made that crack about you not having a sense of humor...I don't like that, either.

I would definitely be leaning towards "nexting" this guy if I were you.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 10:37am

Like Sheri, I think it is a misunderstanding.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 10:47am
Thaanks for the advice. I am not sure yet whether or not I will go out with him Thursday... It feels too much like a game right now. But we'll see!