Confused with no on-line responses
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| Fri, 08-26-2005 - 6:54pm |
I've been trying the on-line dating again in the last few months. One thing has been confusing to me and I hope some of you can answer it. I've sent out some e-mails (not winks/icebreakers) and I haven't received a single response. In my e-mails I keep them short with a few open ended questions, usually a compliment/flirt, and mention something from their profile where we match. It ends with a way to contact me outside of that service if they're not subscribers, written in a spelled out way where the autoedits wouldn't revise or delete them. (I've tested this out before.)
Where I'm confused is that I'm receiving no responses after several weeks--positive or rejects. (I would appreciate rejects over not knowing.) My question is that why are women sitting on my e-mails without doing one or the other? A few years ago when I was on, if someone didn't respond within two weeks, I generally wrote them off as not interested since them deleting didn't indicate it. On Match.com today, if someone deleted my e-mail, it would let me know they're not interested, (which again I tested) so I know they aren't deleting them. Are they holding onto them waiting for a second e-mail to see if I'm truly interested, too overwhelmed with other contacts, or some other reason?

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Now, If I had someone make reference to something in my profile that will stand out as well. If someone were to say "Hey, I like figure skating too" I won't even look at his profile I would want to chat with him right away. But, that's never happened.
The point is find that one thing that would really Grab them - Take notice.
This is to "All": (I have temporarily stopped my pay account so I can't select "all" anymore lol).
I think spending too much time thinking about why a person read your e-mail and didn't delete it is kind of a waste of time. Who cares why they didn't delete it? If they were interested, they'd respond. So if they didn't respond, they're not interested. And if they're not interested, it doesn't really matter whether they deleted your e-mail or not...KWIM?
I agree...I even take this one step further...once I send a bunch of emails or icebreakers, I just put them out of my head and don't expect any response. If I do get some, great, but I don't have any expectations.
Sheri
That's another reason I hate getting "thanks but no thanks" emails...if I have a message in my inbox (which reminds me of the emails/icebreakers I sent out), I want it to be positive!
Sheri
It may not be anything in your profile or pic. Women get innundated with emails/winks and most give up even trying to respond. To give you an example. The first week I signed up for OLD I had 175 emails in my inbox (and I am not even from a very large town) I find that men will just "mass email" every new face that pops up. Actually even WITHOUT pics as I found out recently with Match. I activated my account just with the free trial they have only so I could look at someone's profile (if you are not a member you cannot even look beyond the initial pic and few words) and with NO PIC up at all (and I didn't even realize it was searchable) I had another 10 emails in a week. I wasn't even looking for someone and I was shocked that this many guys would want to contact me with no pic and a very short generic profile. It just makes me wonder if they want to meet "anybody"
Also, I have a male friend who was having the same problem as you.....you may not want to admit this if the same thing is going on with you......but when I checked WHO he was emailing it became obvious why he wasn't getting responses. He is 48 and only emailing women in their 20's who look like models. LOL It must be a mid life crisis because he seems genuinely confused as to why they are not responding. I pointed out that some were even "fake" profiles as I recognized a few of the pictures from ladies clothing catalogs! The rest were just really young and exceptionally pretty and he will never get many responses if he doesn't have a wider range. Not saying you are doing this, but once I saw "who" he was emailing it became obvious what the issue was.
Deborah
I have been on Match for some time and with this new formatting it is a little confusing. The other day I had many emails in my inbox and since i had read all of them, I just deleted many of them until I got to the newest ones, since I had responded already to the ones I wanted to respond to.
My question is this, from reading this thread, am I to believe that every email I deleted, that that person will get a notice saying I am not interested in them because I deleted one of their emails? Some of these guys have emailed me 4 or 5 times and I kept the newest one but deleted the older ones, but that didn't mean I wasn't interested in them.
This seems rather strange and I am wondering if this is what really happens. Yet it could be because one guy was emailing me daily and hasn't for 3 days since I did my cleaning up of my incoming emails and deleted them. Hmmm... Has anyone else had this happen to them?
Sunshine
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