A cool response

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
A cool response
2
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 11:21am

I need advice on how to proceed about this guy. If I respond at all, I want to be very cool.

On a service that I'm not on, I ran into the profile of a guy whose picture is attractive, whose occupation sounds interesting and who had very cleverly masked his e-mail address so one could (if equally clever) contact him outside the site.

I decided to contact him. He had one of those "I need a picture" messages on his profile, so I referred him to my Match profile. (Although I have a bare-bones profile on the site where I found him, it has no picture.)

This was last night and already I got a response from him. I am not sure how to interpret it, or how to proceed, so I throw it to the greater wisdom of this group.

First he congratulated me on figuring out his address. Second he said he'd looked at my Match profile. Third he suggested that if I was ever in the city (I live in a small town outside a city--he lives in the city) we could have lunch. He added "what do we have to lose?"

So: the "quick response" is a plus. The "let's meet" is promising. But the "what do we have to lose?" part makes me hesitate. Also, I'm not sure about "if you are ever in the city" part. I'm actually in the city on job-related stuff at least once--sometimes twice--a week and I probably could do a lunch meeting. But should I tell him so?

I think it's the combination of "let's meet on my turf" and "what do we have to lose" that makes me think that if I reply at all it should be very cool. (But in fairness, it makes more sense to meet in the city where there is more to do.)

Advice please?

Elsa

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
In reply to: elarisa
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 12:57pm

Elsa, based on your other posts...I wouldn't worry about a cool response. We all say things that come out the wrong way at times, and hope that people look past the flubs. It sounds like he is trying to NOT sound desperate.

IMHO, contact him and tell him you will be in the city on Xday or Yday and would he like to meet? Your favorite restaurant or is there somewhere he would prefer?

A true cool response will be if he doesn't want to meet you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
In reply to: elarisa
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 5:58pm

Thanks for the response. It's just that I got the feeling that this might be one of those guys who just likes to be courted. (You know, "I'll consent to meet you if you come into my area.") I don't want to make it too easy for him. --Like *I'm* desperate. I would have felt differently if he'd made some positive comment about my profile or picture.

But you may be right that he's trying to play it cool. And too much cool from both sides can be chilly.

So I have e-mailed briefly saying that I might be able to do lunch on Friday if we can meet in the X area of town (which is where I am going to be). We'll see how that goes.