crazy ex from the past situation?
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| Mon, 01-24-2005 - 12:09pm |
My ex from last year, the obsessed guy I broke up with called me last Thursday. I saw his name on the caller ID so I didn’t pick up. He then called the “main line”, got transferred so I couldn’t see his name and he said Hi it’s J from the past. I was freaked (having flashbacks) and said I had to go, I was on a conference call. I then emailed him saying I wished him well in life but am asking one time and one time only NEVER to call me again. Fortunately I moved 3-4 months ago and I don’t have a forwarding address as I live in my roommates condo and don’t have a listed phone number. I doubt he could find out my residence and our apartment is security building. I rephrased the cuss words he used the best I could in the notes below...
At work I park in a security parking lot too.
He threatened me and belittled me when he didn’t get what he wanted. We dated OVER a year ago and he comes back asking for a few items he gave me as a gift (pots and pans, pillows)...plus I moved and don’t have them. If hypothetically he needed them he should have asked for them a year ago. However my friend suspsects it has nothing to do with that, he probably called to see how I was and didn’t expect me to hang up on him. My life is good right now and of course now this crazy guy comes in to mess it up.
Advice, suggestions and can someone really sue someone they dated for less than two months ... he has sued ex GF’s in the past, same thing, he likes to make people pay! He’s sick! Now looking back I shouldn’t have said anything but he pushed my buttons....can’t turn the clock back!
D,
J wrote: Ok I'll have my attorney get in touch with you...this was not a personal interest, as we both know you and I have nothing in common...I don't wish to open any door for that matter even a crack...but i had a situation with my ex-partner Clay where I sued him for close to 60,000.00 and he settled, part of that agreement was to return all contents from the condo in San Diego...some of which said items I let you have on the condition that if Clay ever wanted or (clay and I) ever settled up with one another...I let it lie as he never paid me until now...so I can not receive the remainder of my funds until every...pot, blanket, pillow, etc...is returned...sorry for the inconvenience. > >Please I don't wish to continue knowing you either...this situation is unfortunate...please let me know how you can get those items from the condo in San diego returned to me. > >Sincerely, >
J again....Yes I would agree it's odd, and guess what the guy is weiord, that's why we no longer do business...it was asked by him to return all belongings out of the condo...I think there was a chaneel blanket do you have that and large oversized bowling pot you wanted for soups...anything would be helpfull, I find it hard to believe you threw them out...sorry you had to downsize, look I don't really like emailing you, so can you please see what you have and send it cod. Look, I am a reasonably nice guy...so please be nice, instead of a rude person, like you were on the phone, and in your email...I haven't spoken to you in over a year, so please, i think you might think to highly of yourself..just see what you have and let me know.
send to:
Peanut wrote: Not sure what you’re talking about; besides I moved and I don’t even own any pots or pans that you may have given me in the past. My place is completely furnished, had to downsize! Good luck with that and if you have problems just go shopping and replace the items, it’s not that difficult. I’d never contact an ex and ask for pots and pans; that’s kind of odd.
D
Come on you have to be kidding me, downsized from what your apartment was a tiny *s__T* hole already...whatever...I guess people never change, just a full of s__t liar as usual...should of guessed...I guess I thought you were a nicer person than you really are...I am engaged so this wasn't to try to get back together or open up a door, rather life goes full circle, I do hope you find happiness in life, cause you really seem like an angry bitter person...
God Bless,
J
ps- Met your ex Mitch, have hung out at a few parties together, boy what an interesting perspective on you, my friend Brook whom you also know introduced us...
Peanut: As I said, I downsized and anything you gave me back then as a gift is gone.
Take care
J wrote: Always have to be a rude *b__ch*...look I'm not angry...sorry about your father, I didn't know, I am not, nor have i ever been hateful or mean to you...so please Deary...I was trying to solve a situation I had...wish you and your new love the best....I am nice, you are NOT...and as far as DRAMA goes I think you bring it out in me.....just abrasive and rude, and unsimpathetic to anyones issues but your own, and as far as Mitch goes...I would much better be seen in his company as he has only said nice things about you, and I as well...we have never said a bad word about you...so on that note, my Darling...enjoy your life...you definately need help in "the How to Win Friends and Influence People" department...you know a year went by and I could of been nice and been a friend, but you need to hate people to keep you from feeling better about yourself...
Peanut wrote: Read your letter to me and then let me know who is angry and bitter. This DRAMA you create is what drives people out of your life. My dad died and I had to downsize to go see him one last time; I have nothing but the clothes on my back. Never make assumptions; life is a gift so you be nice to people. I’d never stoop as low as you and write the petty things you do that have nothing to do with why you contacted me initially (your angry so you take it out on me, not going to work), think about it; I wish nothing but the best for you and everyone.
Congrat’s on the engagement!
All future emails will be sent to my junk email box……
Oh my God...go get a f’ing life like I have time to deal with a loser, broke, pain in the arse...like you...please go get f__ed......in The Arse.... now really I have no need ever in life to be nice to a loser Cu_t with a unsensitive beoch-like attitude...please enjoy your life, as at one point in time I thought you were a nice person...gave me a reason to think nicely of you in my past...now I believe you just to be as nasty as the rotten person you are...please I prefer I have the last word this time...don't respond to this as it is not worth my time to be nice or angry to you...you are like a poison...Thank God I am at a strong place in my life to never ever let a poison affect me, other than that you might have been right about the drama...but this was simple you could of been nice and I would of gone my merry way...Now I'll think about fing with you, JUST BECAUSE I CAN...and if I want to I will...so please be nice...or I'll have you using the remainder of what you don't have that you downsized with, eaten up by attorneys fees just because I can.(these days you don't need a good reason to sue someone)...so remember d my dear...In a year going by I have lived in Paris for 6 months...enjoyed my life and met the woman of my dreams...all that time and you still angry about life...please d...you need to act your age...not 3...all I did was make a request and you treated my phone call and email like I was trash...so to one woman's trash is another womnan's treasure...you are definately a "BIG L"...God Bless you for being ugly inside and out, cause I now know what to look for in life...
J.

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Thanks everyone.
The thing is I don’t want to press charges nor get a restraining order because that will make him excited and he may damage my car or follow me at night or worse hurt a friend...the best thing I can do right now is be silent and hope he was having a bad day........not sure? LG you’re right, wish I could go back in time and be simple with my one liners but I can’t.....
SP
Doesn't that depend on the circumstances? If he's just threatening to get money out of her for 'goods', then how would the polic become involved? They're not going to do anything with a situation like that.
I'd understand if it was a harrassing or threatening situation, but at this point she really can't go there because she continued the dialogue with him. If he contacts her from this point on and she doesn't respond.
Michelle
Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious vis
SP, as I posted to you on the other board, I agree with ignoring him for now, but do print and save the emails and do at least CALL the police now and describe the situation to get this on the record and gain an understanding of what you would need to do if he escalates.
Sheri
I agree- what law has he broken? Unfortunately, there's no law against being a drama-addicted idiot. Therefore, there's no charges to be pressed, unless she's already GOT a restraining order against him. :(
Best bet is to keep it very simple. Don't have the stuff. Leave me alone. Good bye.
It's your first line of self-defense. I went to my attorney first. He advised filing a police report. If you don't file charges, you have nothing. Hopefully, it stops but if it doesn't, you haven't helped yourself. It's a big IF if you do nothing.
Lisa
Key word "threatening". He is so wrong and if she doesn't do anything to protect herself yet has this information then what? I'm just saying what my attorney told me. I'm in the situation as we speak.
Lisa
Thank you everyone.
He has sued ex girlfriends because as he said “he can” and he probably has a lot of time on his hands since he doesn’t work for a living, instead he sues people and hasn’t paid taxes in 20 years. Not sure if it’s worth my time (going to the police to at least let them know) and that is my valuable time doing that. Now you know why I sugar coat and unfortunately I didn’t with him; better than this. Hopefully he is blowing heat. A friend thinks he’ll come after me, not now but maybe a month from now and do harm to my car or something. I doubt he’s engaged....if he was so madly in love trust me, he wouldn’t be threatening me or contacting me for pots and pans.
D
I am begging you - go to the police. Your real life friend even thinks he will come back. Protect yourself NOW. It is worth your time. Every single second of it. He's effed with enough people - be strong! Please!
Lisa
Lisa. Again, I don't think you're getting the point- it's not against the law to threaten to sue someone.
To get the cops to do something, or even give a report, a crime has to have been committed. As much as we might like it to be in situations like this, being a jerk is NOT a crime. He's entitled to be a jerk.
I re-read what she posted and other than where he says he's going to f*** with her, he doesn't really seem to threaten her. And since that is in reference to using up any money she has in lawyers' fees, it's obvious he's not talking about physically harming her but instead filing some kind of lawsuit against her.
Don't get me wrong- I'm all for going to the cops when it's appropriate. Someone comes to your house or workplace and you don't want them there, call the cops. Someone threatens to harm you, call them.
But this isn't a case like that. The guy was a jerk and demanded the stuff back, threatened to sue her, and generally was an ass- but he didn't break any laws.
The best thing to do is to simply be matter-of-fact and NOT get into any kind of emotional exchange with the guy. As you can see from the pattern of emails, as long as it was very basic and she told him she didn't have the stuff, he was fine. He only got *really* nasty when she told him what she thought about him as a person.
Frankly, that was a mistake, but it's too late now. Best thing: Ignore him as much as possible, stick to the short "I don't have the stuff, please leave me alone" and talk to a lawyer to find out her exposure to legal situations.
If he visits her workplace, then it's time to start the cops-restraining order scenario, or if he threatens her physically. Until then, not too much can or should be done.
I respectfully disagree. I don't take these things lightly anymore. Some freaks go from zero (emailing) to 60 (causing actual harm) in less than a nano second. She should protect herself. He's crossed the line. I'm in that spot right now so that's probably why I feel the way I do.
Lisa
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