crazy ex from the past situation?
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| Mon, 01-24-2005 - 12:09pm |
My ex from last year, the obsessed guy I broke up with called me last Thursday. I saw his name on the caller ID so I didn’t pick up. He then called the “main line”, got transferred so I couldn’t see his name and he said Hi it’s J from the past. I was freaked (having flashbacks) and said I had to go, I was on a conference call. I then emailed him saying I wished him well in life but am asking one time and one time only NEVER to call me again. Fortunately I moved 3-4 months ago and I don’t have a forwarding address as I live in my roommates condo and don’t have a listed phone number. I doubt he could find out my residence and our apartment is security building. I rephrased the cuss words he used the best I could in the notes below...
At work I park in a security parking lot too.
He threatened me and belittled me when he didn’t get what he wanted. We dated OVER a year ago and he comes back asking for a few items he gave me as a gift (pots and pans, pillows)...plus I moved and don’t have them. If hypothetically he needed them he should have asked for them a year ago. However my friend suspsects it has nothing to do with that, he probably called to see how I was and didn’t expect me to hang up on him. My life is good right now and of course now this crazy guy comes in to mess it up.
Advice, suggestions and can someone really sue someone they dated for less than two months ... he has sued ex GF’s in the past, same thing, he likes to make people pay! He’s sick! Now looking back I shouldn’t have said anything but he pushed my buttons....can’t turn the clock back!
D,
J wrote: Ok I'll have my attorney get in touch with you...this was not a personal interest, as we both know you and I have nothing in common...I don't wish to open any door for that matter even a crack...but i had a situation with my ex-partner Clay where I sued him for close to 60,000.00 and he settled, part of that agreement was to return all contents from the condo in San Diego...some of which said items I let you have on the condition that if Clay ever wanted or (clay and I) ever settled up with one another...I let it lie as he never paid me until now...so I can not receive the remainder of my funds until every...pot, blanket, pillow, etc...is returned...sorry for the inconvenience. > >Please I don't wish to continue knowing you either...this situation is unfortunate...please let me know how you can get those items from the condo in San diego returned to me. > >Sincerely, >
J again....Yes I would agree it's odd, and guess what the guy is weiord, that's why we no longer do business...it was asked by him to return all belongings out of the condo...I think there was a chaneel blanket do you have that and large oversized bowling pot you wanted for soups...anything would be helpfull, I find it hard to believe you threw them out...sorry you had to downsize, look I don't really like emailing you, so can you please see what you have and send it cod. Look, I am a reasonably nice guy...so please be nice, instead of a rude person, like you were on the phone, and in your email...I haven't spoken to you in over a year, so please, i think you might think to highly of yourself..just see what you have and let me know.
send to:
Peanut wrote: Not sure what you’re talking about; besides I moved and I don’t even own any pots or pans that you may have given me in the past. My place is completely furnished, had to downsize! Good luck with that and if you have problems just go shopping and replace the items, it’s not that difficult. I’d never contact an ex and ask for pots and pans; that’s kind of odd.
D
Come on you have to be kidding me, downsized from what your apartment was a tiny *s__T* hole already...whatever...I guess people never change, just a full of s__t liar as usual...should of guessed...I guess I thought you were a nicer person than you really are...I am engaged so this wasn't to try to get back together or open up a door, rather life goes full circle, I do hope you find happiness in life, cause you really seem like an angry bitter person...
God Bless,
J
ps- Met your ex Mitch, have hung out at a few parties together, boy what an interesting perspective on you, my friend Brook whom you also know introduced us...
Peanut: As I said, I downsized and anything you gave me back then as a gift is gone.
Take care
J wrote: Always have to be a rude *b__ch*...look I'm not angry...sorry about your father, I didn't know, I am not, nor have i ever been hateful or mean to you...so please Deary...I was trying to solve a situation I had...wish you and your new love the best....I am nice, you are NOT...and as far as DRAMA goes I think you bring it out in me.....just abrasive and rude, and unsimpathetic to anyones issues but your own, and as far as Mitch goes...I would much better be seen in his company as he has only said nice things about you, and I as well...we have never said a bad word about you...so on that note, my Darling...enjoy your life...you definately need help in "the How to Win Friends and Influence People" department...you know a year went by and I could of been nice and been a friend, but you need to hate people to keep you from feeling better about yourself...
Peanut wrote: Read your letter to me and then let me know who is angry and bitter. This DRAMA you create is what drives people out of your life. My dad died and I had to downsize to go see him one last time; I have nothing but the clothes on my back. Never make assumptions; life is a gift so you be nice to people. I’d never stoop as low as you and write the petty things you do that have nothing to do with why you contacted me initially (your angry so you take it out on me, not going to work), think about it; I wish nothing but the best for you and everyone.
Congrat’s on the engagement!
All future emails will be sent to my junk email box……
Oh my God...go get a f’ing life like I have time to deal with a loser, broke, pain in the arse...like you...please go get f__ed......in The Arse.... now really I have no need ever in life to be nice to a loser Cu_t with a unsensitive beoch-like attitude...please enjoy your life, as at one point in time I thought you were a nice person...gave me a reason to think nicely of you in my past...now I believe you just to be as nasty as the rotten person you are...please I prefer I have the last word this time...don't respond to this as it is not worth my time to be nice or angry to you...you are like a poison...Thank God I am at a strong place in my life to never ever let a poison affect me, other than that you might have been right about the drama...but this was simple you could of been nice and I would of gone my merry way...Now I'll think about fing with you, JUST BECAUSE I CAN...and if I want to I will...so please be nice...or I'll have you using the remainder of what you don't have that you downsized with, eaten up by attorneys fees just because I can.(these days you don't need a good reason to sue someone)...so remember d my dear...In a year going by I have lived in Paris for 6 months...enjoyed my life and met the woman of my dreams...all that time and you still angry about life...please d...you need to act your age...not 3...all I did was make a request and you treated my phone call and email like I was trash...so to one woman's trash is another womnan's treasure...you are definately a "BIG L"...God Bless you for being ugly inside and out, cause I now know what to look for in life...
J.

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EGADS Lisa...I'm so sorry to hear you're dealing with some whack job. I hope everything works out for the positive for you!
Michelle
Michelle
Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious vis
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sp, your situation is alarming. You really need to protect yourself here. You know what he's capable of. So why do you still have "hope" that he will act differently with you? He has taken the time to track you down after a year for pots and pans, for pete's sake!
At the bare minimum, a quick consultation with a lawyer is in order. This is strictly about being in charge of your life and not allowing creeps to infect it.
Lisa, I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing this awful situation.
I agree with the posters who say consult SOME kind of professional, whether it be a lawyer or a police department. Perhaps he has not done anything to break the law yet, but if he does, you will be on record as having discussed the situation, and a paper trail is always a good thing; also, you will gain knowledge of what your next step should be if he does escalate the situation; remember, knowledge is power. Then, if he does something else, you can act immediately because you will know what to do. Forewarned being forearmed; and you won't have to go through all the details with the authorities because they'll have the background. It makes you more credible to report his behavior now.
Print out those emails and save them, give copies to whomever you decide to see.
Peanut, a couple of things stand out:
1) You FEEL intimidated by his behaviour. You're thinking about your physical safety and feeling grateful for the security you have. 2) You have dated this creep or something like it in the past. (Sorry, I don't think I was around at the time so don't recall.)
I don't know the laws in your state, but in Massachusetts, those two factors alone constitute domestic abuse and are enough to get you a restraining order. He's very serious about keeping a hook in you and working the legal system is a tactic some abusers like to use. It's worth a call to an attorney (many will do a free office consult) and/or a domestic violence hotline (ask for a court advocate.)
Just on the side, do you only know about his previous lawsuits from him? I don't want to get your hopes up, but I wouldn't put it past such a freak to make it up. Another thought: after the way he's behaved, if he sues, you may well be able to countersue.
Take care of yourself above all. Best of luck.
Thanks all, I took the first step and contacted a friend on email who is a lawyer in town. If he says to report it to the police then I will.
He showed me the affidavit he used against this British chick in England. How she promised to marry him and how he bought his house for HER (although the house was in his mother’s name, go figure?) and gave her 1,000 dollars to ship her boxes out here which she never did and other moneys and trips he paid for. I saw it...unless it was fake but it looked legitimate? Then again he was way more involved with her than me. He said to me every year he would keep doing it to make her life H__, no joke. I told him to let it go and move on, he couldn’t.
He’s a control freak too so ... we’ll see what my friend says.
Thanks again all!!
Peanut
PS I don’t mind reporting it but I don’t want him to know he got the best of me by having a restraining order issued, that’s too much drama which would excite the freak!!!
I talked to the detective at my police department. She gave me her ID # so if anything should happen I can reference this date and time and our conversation. She said since he hasn’t threatened to do body harm nothing can be done. Yes he can take me to small claims court; no I don’t need a lawyer for that she said. The judge will hear both sides. I say I don’t have them; gave them a way, they were a gift anyhow and he’ll/she’ll dismiss the case more than likely. Worst case I owe him a 100 dollars but doubt it.
SP
Let us know what the lawyer said and how it all comes out, okay?
And be careful for a while. Yes, he didn't threaten bodily harm, but it's worth it to be aware of things. Check your car before jumping in. Keep your radar up and running. It's worth it.
My friend the lawyer said to save the emails and do nothing for now. He said that he could sue if he wanted to as the crazy ex said you don't need a reason. Going to small claims court is cheap, 80 bucks or something. However if this guy would seriously sue me (his word against mine) about some pots and pans and pillows or whatever he gave me over a year ago, it will only proove to make him a bigger fool.
Any judge would laugh him out of court. Seriously, how can you proove that his gifts to me had a clause? This has nothing to do with pots and pans, he wanted to talk to me, was disapointed that I wanted NOTHING to do with him just as I didn't a year ago when I broke up with him and he struck back the only way he could.
Just like you said, the way he pissed me off with this entire thing is the way he feels everyday, it's sad really. I know the guy isn't engaged because if he was he'd be so happy and do you think for a minute his fiance would approve of him calling me for pots and pans, NO, she would tell him (if is story was true which I also doubt) to go buy new ones to get his 60K.
Peanut
This is where the "crazy ex's" of the world eventually end up:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/26/airplane.struggle/index.html
Dear Peanut,
BLOCK any email he has or will send you letters from. Do NOT give this maniac any 'oxygen', this can only have life if You let it breathe,and ANY word from you means he has you hooked up again emotionally, and can use you as a scratching post!
Secondly, go to your local police station and see about getting a 'protective order' against him; no cost to you, and it documents his harassing you, if you would like to go further, such as a stalking charge or 'harassment by other means', if he is moron enough to continue.
Forgive yourself; he probably saw a good woman with a sweet heart and took advantage of you. You know better Now! But do NOT play his games in Any way. Also on the lawsuit, there is NO lawyer worth his bar exam that would mount a lawsuit for $75 bucks worth of domestic equipment--ie, pots and pans! Puhleez. Another fear tactic, don't fall for it!
Take care
Truly,
Cupcake
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