Cyber sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Cyber sex
6
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:52pm

A few days ago, I started chatting with this adorable 21 year old hottie on plentyoffish.com (I'm 28), and our IM's were pretty flirtatious. We talked on the phone for the first time tonight, and let's just say GET ME THE FIRE HOSE! His voice is OH-SO sexy, and even though I've never had cyber sex before, I certainly gave it my best shot!

I guess I'm thinking that once it starts like that, there's no chance of NOT having sex with them pretty soon after you meet...right? And that sort of scares me. I haven't had sex in 8 months, since I got my heart broken from the last guy, and that's a whole other can of worms.

I'm just thinking that I'm heading down a one way street that I might regret. But it's so much fun, and who really knows where it could end up? I might be surprised. I'm just afraid, I guess...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
In reply to: cj311
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 9:55pm
So the first time you talk on the phone, you had phone sex? Were webcams involved too?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cj311
Fri, 03-24-2006 - 10:07pm

No no no! No webcams...just old fashioned words...and nothing really graphic, just more teasing...

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: cj311
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 9:14am

As if sex IRL is just gonna "happen" outside your control? You're right though, the odds of "dating" this guy without sex right away are gonna be slim because he'll think you're a tease.

Everything depends on what you're looking for. I'm 28 too and certainly wouldn't mind some sweet young booty ;) except that casual sex doesn't interest me anymore. Nothing wrong with it - just a personal preference. Just don't do anything you're not comfortable with. That means if you're reluctant to meet him, don't. He's probably going to 'expect' sex, so it's up to you to decide if you want it or not.

If you do meet him, just be realistic and don't expect a relationship beyond sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
In reply to: cj311
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 4:51pm

Well, it shouldn't be a one-way street!
Now, wehter you have sex with him shortly after you meet or later on in the process should be a decision you, and only you makes, without thinking that you should be living up to HIS expectations. Of course, he might expect you to have sex with him soon, however, he is the person responsible for dealing with his own expectations and desires. I am past the stage when I believed
that male desire/sexuality is this unstopable machinery and poor guys shouldn't be teased b/se, God forbid, they'll have to suffer! Who said that?! Right now I have no qualms stopping mid-sex, if the need arises -- and I have done it, to no detriment of the relationship and with a brand new partner! And honestly, I think we women are conditioned to be pleasers: who said that men's sexual needs are beyond their control and we have to simply conform? (and I also have dated men who, IMO were moving way too slowly for me, sexually speqaking, yet none of them felt compelled to speed things up b/se I had sexual needs (and I did! :)) ).

All this is to say that I would listen to what *I* want. You felt like having cyber/phone sex: great! If you want to take this to a Real Life bedroom, fine; yet, you shouldn't feel compelled to go with it just b/se "he might think you are a tease"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
In reply to: cj311
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 7:58pm
Since nobody's mentioned it...keep in mind that this "hottie" may really be this lovely, overweight, badl, middle aged guy. How do you know he really lokks the way he does in his picture?! You may meet and gag! That thought goes through my mind when flirtatious comments come up with a guy I have yet met. I ask myself would I die of embarrasment if I meet him and he's well...YUCK!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: cj311
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 6:35am
Yup...heading down a one way street...pretty much if you let them lead you there it's where they all will lead you.. and if that's all you are looking for than who cares, go for it, your a grown adult. But don't get upset and hurt becuase it didn't turn into more. Just take it for what it was, a roll in the hay.