Cyncial and judgemental?
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Cyncial and judgemental?
| Fri, 03-24-2006 - 7:54pm |
Do you ever think that many of us may be too cyncial and judgmental about the people we're meeting via OLD? I mean think about it, we tend to think that they do what they do for negative reasons. And I can't help but to wonder if they're catching that vibe and running the other way. I mean, I know when I meet a person who is too cyncial I run. So I'm wondering if we're putting those vibes out there.
Now don't get me wrong and don't flame me... I'm not saying that we haven't had enough experiences with OLD that have been negative... I'm just saying that maybe we are turning some possibly decent ones into negative ones...
What are your thoughts?
Kerry

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Just to be clear, I'm not saying AT ALL that we shouldn't strive to be the best self we can and want to be. I don't see that as inconsistent with what I'm saying (and you seem to think it is), so I must not be expressing my POV all that well, argh ;-)! I think we are where we are meant to be at any given point in our lives, though, and beating ourselves up o blaming outselves for past "negative" attitudes and/or behavior isn't productive.
I do agree that if you hadn't changed, things wouldn't be working out with this new guy because he wouldn't have been right for who you were THEN...but he is potentially right for who you are NOW.
In any event, thanks for the discussion, it's an interesting one, even if I'm not able to put across what I'm getting at!
Sheri
Is it really about being cynical and judgmental?? Or is it more about tolerance level? I'm not as cynical and judgmental when I meet someone and try to give people the benefit of the doubt; but it's my tolerance level that has changed. I refuse to keep giving chances or making compromises from the beginning; all for the sake of trying to cultivate a friendship. I'm not willing to jump through hoops just to get a guy to call me, stay consistent, take me out and I'm not expecting the same from him. It should just be a mutual understanding that we are both interested and take the necessary steps to cultivate such friendship.
Also, this board is a "small" realm of people who may seem to be cynical and judgmental. Enough of us have been doing OLD for quite some time and our advice stems from that. Regardless, I have plenty friends who give guys second and third chances; even when they have been stood up; or the guy doesn't call when he says he will, etc. Have any of these situations become relationships? Yes. Healthy ones? Another story.
Bottom line, is no I'm not cynical or judgmental; but my tolerance level is NIL...
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