Date on Friday-Nice Picture
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Date on Friday-Nice Picture
| Tue, 06-20-2006 - 5:43pm |
Ok, this guy posted TWO current pictures of himself on e-Harmony. Handsome. Not full body, but he has run marathons and still runs. He is a 52 year old neurospsychologist. He was in a 14 year relationship with a woman who had three children. Did not marry her, because she did not accept his proposal.
I am trying to keep an open mind, not expect too much, but dread another reality slap in my face if he isn't anything like his pictures or the persona he projects on the phone and e-mail.... How do any of you refresh yourself so you do not approach another date with trepidation and expectation of disappointment?
Bunny

As was told to me, having expectations is having pre-meditated resentments.
With that said, I look to approach my dates with the attitude of having the fun (enjoying the journey and not focus on the "destination") and getting to know the other person. A way of looking at it is think of how you would approach doing something with your child, not to have expectations but just to focus on creating fun.
Let us know how it turns out!
Mark
Hi Bunny,
I'm just re-entering the OLD world after a 6 month break and I'm trying to look at it this way: Is this person someone I'd like to sit and have coffee with? That's it. Looking at a photo and a blurb on a website and making that leap to "Is this someone I'd be romantically interested in?" is just
I agree it's good to take breaks when needed. I also think it's important to reserve time and comfort for oneself during the dating process. In other words, don't say yes to anything unless you want to and/or have had time to think it over. My take on a lot of dating disappointment is that one or another person, or both, builds themselves up to "sell" themselves to the other person. Everyone's ego is on the line to some degree, probably. So the receiver starts thinking very highly of the other, but the other may be a phoney or not think that highly of themselves, etc. One way or another, it all goes up in smoke. Then people are left wondering what happened, if it was them, etc. This process would be a lot easier on everyone, IMO, if we just trusted our instincts all the way along and took the time we needed to assess things accurately, rather than letting ourselves be persuaded by someone else. That almost never works-out.
I think it's good to go into a new dating situation with a certain amount of wariness. I personally think men respect that, both good and bad ones.