Date is late
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Date is late
| Sun, 05-29-2005 - 11:20pm |
I don't think I was being unreasonable but here it is: Our third date, we live 3 hours apart. We had arranged for him to come here yesterday. He was going to spend the weekend. He was supposed to be here at noon, called at 9:30 am, said something with work had come up, he would make it about 1:30. I said no problem. 1:30 he is not here. 3:00 not here. I go for a long walk. 4:30 I call him. He is on his way, about an hour away. He seems surprised at the disappointment in my voice. I picture an uncomfortable weekend ahead with me remembering his lack of consideration for me. I try to explain that he should have let me know he would be several hours late. No apology. I ask him what he thinks - it is a good idea for him to come here? He implies that no it isn't, since I'm "mad" (though I have only explained my disappoint, never got angry). I apologize for his wasted driving time and suggest he turn around and go home. He does and that was over 24 hours ago. I don't think it was unreasonable for me to cancel our plans. I just felt like he had ruined everything by being so inconsiderate. Maybe if he would have apologized... Any opinions?

I am TOTALLY anal time-wise, so of course I'm all over your side.
However -- few people I meet have the same attitude towards time. Oddly enough, it's the guys who seem blase about being late.
Also, I picture this guy racing to your place after having to unexpectedly go to work, getting a pissy call from you and I understand why he turned back. A bad call after a bad day?
If you like this guy, this may be a good time to take the higher road and call him up, apologize for being pissy. Let bygones be bygones and make him understand that you won't wait 3 hours for him to show up next time. Don't let pride get in the way. You will gain points, too.
amjay
The fact he agreed so quickly to turn around, he probably hadn't even started on his way, he was probably still very near his home.
Good riddance I say. Nothing worse than a guy who can't respect your time as just as valuable as his.
i will back you up and say that he was being totally inconsiderate but maybe you could have handled it a bit differently
i had a guy i was dating once that did this too me one time he ahd to work and work went over my a few hours. I waited and thought we had plans and no calls. finally i call him and he is still working. I asked why he had not called me , as i was waiting and assumed we had plans. I said if you had called to just let me know that would have been fine but the mere fact he di dnot pick up the phone is what disappointed me not that he ws late because i knew the circumstances of his work..
after that he never did it again he always called and i was always cool and fine w/ him about it.. it was just a misunderstanding and maybe an ex in his past gave him a hard time when he called..
i think it is a respect thing and him not calling to let you know he was on the road was wrong.. or that he was running that behind..
this could also show early signs of how he would be down the road.
so maybe you are better off.
So not only is he over 6 hours late for his date with you, but you receive no apology? He could have at least kept you posted on his driving progress- but he was too inconsiderate to even do that, apparently.
I don't blame you for being upset, and I'd have cancelled the date too. You know what they say about first impressions.