date planned how long do you wait 4 call

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
date planned how long do you wait 4 call
19
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 7:34pm


ok went out last night w/ a group of friends. for happy hour the man came along to as he is part of this "group".. we did not get much time to spend together but when speaking on the phone earlier in the week he said we would plan something afterwards for "alone time".. cool..

we had a great time last night I was not able to focus my entire attention on him until later in the evening. I thought we had a great evening everyone had fun.. He mentioned to me about getting together this week and I said my mom was coming in to town.. so he then asked for a get together tonite later for a drink or something, I said that would be fine..

when he left me at the end of the evening, he said I will call you..

ok- i was am very confident that everything was going well and he was going to /meant calling me today?? and I thought he specifically asked me to go out tonite??

Well it's 4:30 here and I have not heard a thing?

what would you all do ? call it off at a certain point? if he doesn't call by 5 or 6 ?

The only reason I am thinking about it as I want to do something else if this is not on?? and it's starting to concern me now that he has not called..

but I don't want to pick up the phone either since he said he would call?

this is why i hate the beginning stages of dating.. again he seemed very sincere ..

what to do.. ??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 12:03pm

I agree, he lacks maturity and stability - fell asleep? Sorry, I don't like the sound of it and I don't blame you for not ever giving this man

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 12:10pm

I agree thanks NW and SP, if i Have to write about here, makes me question it already. Fell asleep and then he was in his car when he called as i could tell, he has a convertible. So he probably had other plans.. honestly i never got the fell asleep excuse before.. and do I want someone that falls asleep and forgets about me ?? NO!!

Polite or not, I did not egg him on as a matter of fact othermen were interested in me that night and i did flirt, but I gave him my FULL attention later on that evening.. he did not need to be "polite".. he could havejust said he'd call ..

but it is hard and maybe be wise not to hook up w/ guys from these events as I have to run into them again and of course they could try to be polite know this too.. but again I did not pursue him

I will see what he has to say but I am not giving many hall passes just to be w/someone.

SP- I agree w/ the BAR Scene I cannot do it either. I did enjoy going the Baja Cantina the other night but it was more of a dining/bar atmosphere you been??

I agree w/what you say i would much rather go out to dinner/spas,beach no bar scene.. getting drunk and all that was for me in my 20's. but it is ok to enjoy it for the night and blow off some steam which we both needed to do!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 12:26pm

I had the falling asleep excuses before and I didn't buy it either. Someone who is responsible isn't going to say to his employer, sorry I didn't show up for work but I fell asleep, I view dating and putting your best foot forward the same way. You have one first impression so make the most of it!


Baha is fun, great place to go on a Sunday afternoon and good date place or with a group of friends. I went to Busby's in Santa Monica last night.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 12:27pm

actually the more i sit and ponder about this, the more my instinct tells me NEXT..; I need not ignore my gut and what it is telling me

Ya all might think I am being hard nosed.. But I look at this way, I feel I should not be treated this minimally especially in the beginning,ok maybe a valid excuse don't know , dont care. It just seems someone of a mature age of 42 w/ the way his actions appeared the week before would not be of an inconsiderate nature.. Possibly the truth is he fell asleep but for how long- it is a 24 hr day

My thoughts are I am going to send off an email as I am quite busy today so will not have a chance to call hm and I know he things going on this evening. It will be cool email just saying no problem. but i had thought we had plans

Again not writing it off totally but also he should have not felt obligated to ask me out just to be polite.. I am not that fragile.

anyways. thanks for you input..
and again I am not bitter. just respect some consideration especially from early on.. maybe I am wrong but will find out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 12:29pm

Yes heard of C&O had an event there i missed and also Busbys great place to hang out. Man one of these days I will run into you!! HA!!!

I agree I felt soo hungover yesterday from the few margaritas i Had and my morning messedup.. I feel great this amand off to the farmer's market in hollywood

Good analogy about work,yes I agree! thanks just reinforces my decision

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 3:57pm
I think you're handling things perfectly, Rose.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 4:47pm

ok update--

got back and had an email from him already that he was at his thing until 6 came home lied down and before he knew it was 8, and he then called me.. He then -humbly apologized and definitely wants to reschedule.

my thoughts he was in his car when he called, um and why did he not call before he lied down?? I mean it was already 6..

don't know if i want to give a chance but at least he apologized.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 6:36pm

I too have gotten the "I fell asleep" excuse. While it's somewhat comforting to read I'm not the only one, this wave of narcolepsy sweeping the country does amuse me. Who knew?

But seriously rosema, I understand if you want to give him another chance since he apologized. We all know how tough it is to meet someone we click with on any level. But, and I know you know this, it would be wise to keep expectations low with this guy and also to be on guard for similar inconsiderate behavior in the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 6:57pm
I've gotten variations on the *I feel asleep* excuse as well.....lol

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