date was good, but....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
date was good, but....
22
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 1:33am
Hi everyone!
Went out on first "real" date with D ( we had a quick lunch date before) tonight. Had a great meal, great conversation, time just flew by and then had to go to get kids. When we parted he leaned in for kiss - I was willing - but he suprised me with big ole wet one! I know this might sound funny but I was married for 18 years and that kind of kissing was for the bedroom, was just expecting a peck or a gentle exploring kiss and this seemed kinda weird to me. I almost felt smothered.
This was my first post divorce kiss, is this normal? Just haven't had experience in dating in so long. Feel like maybe he is moving too fast for me, but was SO into him before this kiss... Thoughts???

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 8:00am

Were you not into it b/c you didn't feel that kind of chemistry for him? Kissing is on eof the best ways to really test chemistry, so maybe try again?

By thw way, I totally gave the new guy I am seeing a "big wet one" on our second date. I blame it on too much St. Paddy's Day cheer!

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:18am

"Big old wet one" as in tougue?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:32am
Yes, tongue - immediately. It was indeed more than I was expecting, he came at me with an open mouth! I really like this guy...
Faith
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:36am

The chemistry was definitely there, but the kiss was just alot more than I expected, he has been such a gentleman, I just would have preferred something a little sweeter for the first kiss I guess. It left me feeling like he is expecting to move a lot faster than I am willing.

Faith

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:42am

lol- well, you ENDED the post with "i really like this guy" ... so you still do! Thats good!


& i totally get what you mean.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 10:45am

I think this is the question you need to answer, and I'm not sure how easy it is to do so, but if you can, set aside that it was unexpected for you, imagine that you were in a comfortable place, was it a good kiss?? I'm sure it's hard to dissect the two, b/c you were feeling startled, so this probably isn't a fair question.

What I will say is that all men are different, and I don't think this should be a dealbreaker in and of itself. Some men, believe it or not, don't know how to kiss no matter what their age. Maybe that's just how he kisses right now. I like to think that they are all trainable. But, you know, maybe for him, that's a normal first date kiss. Everyone is different.

Do you feel comfortable enough the next time you see him or maybe just before he leans in for the next kiss to tell him that b/c you are just getting back into the dating scene, it is important for you to take things slowly and you want to start with smaller, gentler kisses, and you then you can say, like this, and then show him what you mean? I would totally do that. You should set the standard early on for being open in communication and addressing your concerns/needs as well as his.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 11:05am
Yeah, that would be a little much for me. I am ALL about the sweet, tender first kiss. LOVE my first kiss with B - couldn't have asked for it to be better. BUT, if you like this guy, why not just go with it for now? He could have just gotten caught up in the moment and got a little carried away! Next time you go out, if he's coming in for another big wet one, try to either direct it more in the sweet kiss area or even just mention it that you like to take things slowly at first.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 11:18am

rlch: For a 1st kiss, how about something sort of sweet, tender & romantic ... (are you READING out there guys???). Toungue down our throats just doesnt do it for us, right away - usually.

Duly noted. :-P

I usually give hugs. I do not trust reading signals from a woman on whether or not see really likes me. My last relationship she told me how she really liked me on the first date but I did not pick up on that at all.

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 11:27am
I think it is just after being with one person for soon long - they are the only person you have kissed, touched - so having someone new do this is very shocking - I am also just new to the dating scene again after being with someone for 13 years and it is weird, nice but strange/different/like who are you and why are you putting your tongue in my mouth?/I just wanted a kiss. As we all know - all men kiss different, some wet sloppy kiss will never be what I want. But if I am enjoying the company of some gentleman and he gives me a sweet, deep kiss it is nice. I think the original post just is having a questionable time being with someone new.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 2:21pm

Ew. The thought gives me the heebie-jeebies. You just don't do that on a first kiss.

YUCK!!! Immediate turnoff, no matter how much I liked the guy up to that point.

I've nexted guys for exactly that reason.

Sheri

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