Dating and Insecurities

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Dating and Insecurities
2
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 7:54pm

I have recently started talking with someone I met online for about 1 ½ months now and I have to admit, I broke some of the cardinal rules of online dating by talking on the phone for long extended periods of time before meeting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 9:42pm

Hi there-

I don't know a single woman who doesn't encounter some insecurity while dating at some point in time. You are definately not alone in that; I think its totally natural to experience some level of anxiety when you put yourself out there and meet someone new. I'm no expert on how to minimize the anxiety- I think a string of difficult situations for me over the past six months or so have sort of made me distrust my instincts and to have some self-doubt in dating.

BUT with that said, its almost as if we can *chose* to remind ourselves, develop a mantra as it were, that we are wonderful, together women with much to offer the world. Seriously, while you may not go so far as to actually vocalize it to yourself, its worth repeating it in your head a couple of times a day. =0)

I also think it helps a lot to keep busy with friends, family, life in general when you are getting to know someone so that you've got perspective. If your life is full there is less time to be insecure.

Finally, I've got a friend who always has more than one "iron in the fire" when it comes to dating. Its her opinion that if you are involving more than a single man in your life in a casual dating way, then your more likely to keep perspective and to not lose yourself.

Now, with that said---- this guy sounds like a good person, so I hope you can both take the time to get to know each other in a realistic way. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2004
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 5:58pm

Thank you for your post.