Dating & money-from Weird OL Exp. thread
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| Tue, 12-27-2005 - 10:31am |
OK, I thought that this warranted a different discussion topic. Personally, I never had a problem with the OP not wanting to date a guy that was making less money than she was. It's her choice to make and if that's what she wants, fine.
But what about the rest of you? Would you date someone that makes significantly less money than you do?
As for me, I think it would depend on the situation and what he did. If the guy was well educated, hard-working and ambitious but happened to be in a field where he did not make a lot of money (say working for a non-profit organization or as a pro-bono lawyer), I don't think I'd have a problem. I think for me, it is the AMBITION that's the key. If he's a slug (like in Jennie's situation) expecting me to support him because I make more money and has no ambition to look for a better job or do something better with his life, that would be a turnoff. But if he's a good person in general who chose his line of work because it is what he enjoys or for noble reasons such as a wish to help people, I mean, WOW, how can you shun someone like that (IMO)?
Thoughts?

I know I already posted my thoughts in the other thread, but the thing for me is that I want to provide dd a nice lifestyle where we own a home and live in a nice neighborhood.
I only make about $30K a year, and I'm not happy with that - it's very difficult to survive on that, which is why I've been improving my education, etc.
I'm mostly a lurker (don't think I've actually posted before now)
This is just my view, and my view only. If the statistics are true, my situation is different from the majority of the men out there. I'm financially stable, a fat bank account, have a good paying government job, no debt, and a graduate education. I have a ton of women friends and I am very comfortable with myself. I don't own a house right now. I sold it several months ago and am waiting out the market. No sense in paying too much for a house considering the housing bubble. What that said:
I don't really consider financial situation of a women when dating them. I'm more that comfortable paying for the date and I insist on paying. I'm traditional that way. If you want to beat me up for that, so be it. However, if the relationship becomes serious, I want to know they handle their finances. It's one thing to have debt to pay for medical or student bills, or having debt to help out a family member who is down on their luck. It's another thing to have a lot of debt because she can't live without the latest fashion shoes or clothes.
I'm also very comfortable dating someone who makes more money than me. I believe in quality of life, not making more money than my neighbors. This means that I want to live comfortably for myself, my future wife, and (hopefully) future children. It doesn't mean making money is the end all. It's about quality over quantity. I rather make less and spend more time with my family than to make more and miss out on all the important moments in life.
But to get to your point, it is sexist that men take most of the financial risk in a relationship. That's the fact of life. Men as a whole make more money, men as a whole are physically stronger, and men as a whole take less risk of being sexually assaulted. Also, women almost wholly take the financial risk when she gets pregnant.
Until the laws of nature changes and men are the ones that get pregnant, like sea horses, there will always be financial inequalities in relationship.
For me, I want equality in a relationship. And as to whether I would stay at home to raise the kids, It would depend on whether that decision was in the best interest of the family. I have the type of education and drive where staying at home is not a problem for me.
Sorry to digress....
No offense.