Dating multiples

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Dating multiples
16
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 10:53am

How long do you typically date multiple people as the result of OLD?

At what point do you stop going out with other OLD folks and concentrate on one person?

EDIT:

PS - By dating I mean that the first meet has gone well and you're on to actual dates for dinner or other activities.




Edited 5/3/2005 9:50 am ET ET by lg1964

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2004
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 12:15pm

Ha!!!

It's hard enough to get a date, let alone date multiple people. I wouldn't mind doing that but its never worked out that way for me.

If it were to happen, I guess I would stop dating others when the person I wanted to be exclusive with decided he wanted to be too.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 12:59pm

It works best for me to keep dating other people until I've been dating the person I'm interested in becoming exclusive with regularly (i.e., 1-3 times a week) for 6-8 weeks.

But, I do find that the longer I'm dating that person (typically during the 2nd month, after we've had, say, 6-8 dates), the less open I am to dating other people. I really have to force myself to get out there, in order to fight my natural tendency to want to jump into things too quickly, before I've really had a chance to get to know that person over a couple of months. Dating other people helps me do that because my focus is dispersed.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 5:42pm

How long do you typically date multiple people as the result of OLD?


 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 6:22pm

Pretty much what cbmroz said. When I was doing OLD, dates were few and far between. Multiple dates were a fantasy! LOL

In theory, it would have been once I was in an exclusive relationship. I agree with the logic that you should keep your options open until then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 6:41pm

>>How long do you typically date multiple people as the result of OLD?<<

I have had meets with multiple people all within a weeks' time, but I wouldn't say they were dates. But even then it gets kind of weird trying to remember each thing about each person! It's hard for me to see too many guys at one time. But that went in streaks anyway.

>>At what point do you stop going out with other OLD folks and concentrate on one person?<<

I did this when we both decided to be exclusive. I knew this guy was different from the start, but didn't want to count on it, so continued to see others, but I wasn't as into the others and the meets, as I was into the guy that I have been seeing exclusively now for the past 3 months. So when we had the exclusive talk I was happy about that.

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 6:52pm
Oh, I have such a hard time with this.....it isn't in my nature to date more than one person at a time. I, also, worry that the guy I like the most will give up if he finds out, thinking I'm not that interested. Another concern is being confused myself. I'm meeting two men this week, too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 10:05pm

I am not officially 'off the market' until there has been a discussion re: exclusivity.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 10:25pm

Dating mulitple men is a fantasy I have yet to fulfill.


 

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
In reply to: lg1964
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 10:46pm
i dated a lot of guys at once... if you aren't exclusive, i think opening up to others is a good thing. i had dated consistently a guy for over two months - but was still going out here/there with some other guys. I know it isn't perfect but I am more like you mien as well date alot, when you find the right one, then its time to stop!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: lg1964
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 6:30am

For those of you who do indeed date multiples (and I've asked and wondered about this before) - how do you handle the physical part?


Typically after the first date things will get a bit more physical (not talking about sex which

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