Dating -- Seeing Other People Woes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Dating -- Seeing Other People Woes
3
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 3:16pm

Met a guy at a club couple of weeks ago and we exchanged numbers. Seemingly a nice guy and we have been talking on the phone -- about once a week. Anyway, during our first telephone conversation he asked me if I was dating others. My reply was yes, I am dating others, but not seeing anyone serious. Cool.

Our next telephone conversation (he called me during my lunch hour) I was sitting outside reading a book. He asked me what I was doing and I told him (reading) and his reply was "how come you are not out having lunch with one of your male friends?" My reply was usually I see my male friends for dinner or drinks and/or lunch; but this particular day I was alone. He said cool and the conversation continued.

Another time he called, I was at home chilling and he asked me "how come I didn't have a date?" No response and redirected the conversation.

Mind you, he is calling and we are planning to see each other on Friday (actually our 1st date since meeting 2 weeks ago). We had a date planned the previous weekend but I had to cancel since I had family in town.

Although he says it "how come, etc." he really doesn't elaborate but I was wondering where is all this coming from???

While dating, it is understood the people are seeing others -- why the need to know who and when??

Anyone else experience this? Why is he doing this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 3:29pm
I think hes just looking to have his ego stroked. Nothing flatters a guy more then him thinking that you're sitting home alone pining over him.
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 4:32pm

Who knows why (insecurity? ego?) but whatever the reason, that would be a big turnoff for me...maybe even a dealbreaker, if he kept doing it.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
Fri, 07-08-2005 - 3:23pm
I was dating someone who was always asking me about other guys that I was dating. And at first I was flattered and thought he was concerned about me dating other people. But in the end I came to the conclusion that it was because he was a committment phobe and wanted to keep me at arm's length. So he was "safe" as long as I was dating other people.