Dating seriously, but his profile is still up?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2010
Dating seriously, but his profile is still up?!
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 3:23pm

I met my current boyfriend on We have been dating now 5 months, and we are both in love, or so I thought. I have met his family twice, we see eachother every weekend and talk every day. He talks about the future with me and about having a family. Two months into dating I took my profile down, hoping he would get the hint, but he still has his up! I even posted a fake profile, only viewed his profile, and he e-mailed her right away. She didn't even have a picture, and he wanted to meet her for coffee. We never really had an exclusivity talk, but

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Thu, 01-27-2011 - 9:26am

NEVER ASSUME anything.

@HoneyyDater Come listen to my very random tweets about dating after 40.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2011
Mon, 01-24-2011 - 1:18pm

I can't believe this problem is so common in online dating.

The same thing happened to me as well. I met a guy on pof. On third date, we agreed to be exclusive so we had sex. Later, I found out his profile is still and he was active.

When I confronted him about it, he denied he was there saying the site is not accurate. He blamed pof saying it was a screwed up site.

I also created fake profile and added him to favourites and guess what? He wrote to my fake profile right away requesting a photo.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2010
Thu, 01-20-2011 - 11:34pm

When I finally confronted him, 6 months into dating, he kind of laughed it off and said "when do I have time to date anyone, I only want to date you". He does have a demanding schedule, but we only see eachother during the weekend as we live an hour apart. Now four weeks after confronting him,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 3:54am

I think 5 months is a lengthy enough time for him to know whether or not this is serious.

I've also done what you did. And I wasn't pleased at my discoveries. Turns out, he was just a serial dater and out to get "bedded" by as many women as he could. It was a hard thing to find out, but I'm glad that I did. He was merely stringing me along. So I dumped him right away. He remained on the site for a lengthy period of time.

Always trust your gut. NWW gave you some good advice. I'd follow it.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-24-2010 - 8:34pm

it sounds like you've made some assumptions about exclusivity--not unreasonably as to me and i think most people, girlfriend would seem to imply exclusivity but apparently not to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 11-23-2010 - 4:42pm

There are two ways of looking at this......