Dating train wrecks!
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| Wed, 09-14-2005 - 12:38pm |
These stories are just so entertaining to read. I know, it sucks to be on a one of these dates, but sometimes it's fun to look back, reflect, and laugh.
Tell your best stories - there are a lot of newbies that have not ever heard some of the better ones (TT comes to mind as having some particularly bad disaster dates). If nothing else it might be encouraging for a newbie to hear, because they can then say "And I thought *I* have been on some bad dates". :-)
Ok, technically my worst one was not through online dating, but it was bad. I was "set up" by a woman who wanted to make her husband jealous to try to get him back (at least this seems like the best possibility). I don't even know she's married, I'm over at her house on a date, and her husband calls the house. He's mad as hell. He leaves a message on the answering machine, saying he's on his way over. She assures me he's bluffing, but in a matter of minutes he's unlocking the front door and in my face, telling me he will kill me if I mess with his wife again. He leaves in a rage, and the woman tries to convince me to stay! She apologizes, saying she should have told me that she was "seperated" and that her husband is the jealous type (Ya think!?). Of course, I'm having none of it and leave.

When I was new to online dating last year, I was surfing the net one afternoon, and this guy D IMed me. He had no picture, and couldn't seem to find one to e-mail me with. But he talked about having an ex-fiancee, so I figured, well, he must be reasonably attractive. He then described himself, and I figured, okay. Cool. We talked on the phone and on IM a lot for a few days, then decided to meet. I was nervous because he seemed like a "dream guy."
The moment I laid eyes on him for the first time, the first words that entered my mind were, "No. Way." Oblivious to my rigid body language, he kept trying to snuggle and cuddle me, and hold my hand. He showed up to meet me wearing a one of those "swishy" jogging suits, smelled like he'd eaten garlic sometime that evening, and his fingernails needed to be cut. Oh, and he had funky jack-o-lantern teeth. At one point, I moved further from him on the bench we were sitting on and put my hands in my pockets to keep them from him. Didn't work. He slid over to be closer to me and tugged my hand out of my pockets to hold it again.
I didn't know what to do because I'd never done the "rejecting" before. So when he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie sometime, I said, "I don't know...." As his face fell (kind of had that little-boy-whose-dog-ran-away face), I stumbled my way through telling him I didn't think we were a match romantically, then we parted ways.
Two things I learned from this: don't get your hopes up before you even meet, and make sure you get a photo before you agree to meet someone!
Although, there was that guy who had a photo then turned out to look nothing like his photo....so let me change that last part to "make sure you get a RECENT photo, preferably more than one."
My two favorites were:
The charming, handsome Frenchman who was moving to a nearby city. We emailed and chatted a bit, and agreed to meet for lunch when he got to the US. We were having a lovely lunch, until we got into a discussion on alternative education theories (and you thought relgion, politics and abortion were hot topics???) and then he had the nerve to say he was still interested in seeing me because he really needed a wife for a green card.
Then there was the guy who was very sweet, looked kinda cute, and invited me out to dinner. So we meet. Wasn't at all attracted to him in person, but figured we'd have dinner, no big deal. We got to the part of the conversation where you ask "where were you born/raised" stuff, and when I asked him what made him move to our particular city, his response was "well, when I got out of prison..."
Check. Please.
My worst date was I guy I contacted with no pic on his profile.
He sends me a pic and his mouth was closed. I kind of figured that it wasn't going to be a love connection, but I decided to go out because you never know.
When I get to the restaurant, the guy was missing a tooth (in the front of his mouth...yuck). Then he proceeded to tell me that he had post traumatic stess disorder (from Nam...yeah he was about 8 years older than me).
From then on all he could talk about was Vietnam...geez!!!
Hi, I am fairly new to this post, but I love being part of it, all the stories are so fun and informative. I have an OLD story to share, this was months ago.
I have been emailing this guy who was very cute and I really wanted to meet. But at the same time, I was talking to another guy which from his pics did not look that cute, but not bad either. I gave them both my number to call me so we could talk. Both their numbers were private and their voices were similar, so I could not tell one from the other until further talking. But one day, I told cute guy to call me so we could meet that afternoon. I was very happy that I was going to meet him, but when I am looking for him, this other guy shows up and tells me that he's such and such, and I said are you Brian, no I am John, I am like WTF! I thought I set up the date with Brian, I am so embarrased, but had the date with this other guy anyways. So here I was wanting to meet the real Brian and he never attempted to meet me, he ghosted and did not even realize what a fool I made of myself wanting to meet him! Life...
Two dates/train wrecks come to mind.
The first one was a guy who wore more chains than Mr T. I had seen his pic and knew he wasn't a small man, which is fine, I like a larger framed man, but I was not prepared for 350+ lbs on a 6ft man. When I walked in the restaurant, he was sitting facing the door, his shirt was unbottoned half the way down with at least 10 gold chains around his neck. He leaned back in his chair, cocked his head to one side and pointed his finger at me, pretending it was a gun, and made a clicking sound and then winked. I wanted the floor to open and swallow me right there. Since I was only about 10 feet from him I couldn't turn and run, so I just sat down. We had agreed to meet for dinner so I felt like I had to endure it. When we ordered he ordered a small house salad and proceeded to tell me that he didn't eat alot. Yeah right! The waitress kept giving me a "oh you poor thing" look. I think she would have and pretended that I had an emergency call if she had known my name. As we left the restaurant he told me he had something for me(bottle of wine), so I stopped at the back of his car since we were parked next to each other. When he opened his car door fast food bags fell out, several of them. I figured it out then, he was a closet eater. We never spoke again.
The second guy that comes to mind is one I agreed to meet at the zoo. I figured the zoo would be a nice place to walk and get to know someone. He called and said he was running late because he over slept (he worked nights). When he arrived, I knew we were not going to be a match, but again, being the nice person that I am, I figured what the heck, I'll get to see the monkeys...not realizing he was going to be the biggest monkey there. At the gorilla house he asked me very loudly in front of several people if I could sit do what the gorilla was doing....sitting with it's legs spread out completely parallel to the limb. I just turned and proceeded on. At the tiger exhibit, he said very loudly "look, it's a big pile of tiger s***!". Of course, the 7-8 year old boys there thought that was great. Then there was a comment about the monkey's picking on each other, that I blocked from memory. We went thru the zoo in record time, less than one hour. I didn't look back and don't think I even said it was nice meeting you, I just walked as fast as I could to my car.
Those are two memories that can't fade fast enough for me.
Oh Libra,
I'm sorry you had to endure all of that but your explanation of everything was just priceless! You explained everything so well, it was as though I was watching it all play out on a huge movie screen.
Both scenarios had me cracking up!
Thanks for the laughter,
Heymum
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ha-ha, that is too funny :)