Dating two guys......
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| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 4:26pm |
So I've been OLD for a few months now and recently have been dating 2 guys. I have seen each of them approximately 6 times. I really like both guys.
Guy #1 doesn't seem even close to wanting an exclusive relationship, which I am perfectly fine with as we are both pretty busy and the amount of time we spend together now seems to be just right.
Guy #2 has hinted that he does want an exclusive relationship and I think he is going to ask me for it soon. The dilemna is I really like Guy #1 too, we seem to have more in common, but I have more fun with Guy #2. How do you go about deciding something like this? I want to be prepared when Guy #2 approaches the issue.
Ideally I think I'd like to continue to date both of them. But, I'm afraid if I tell Guy #2 that he will be hurt and not want to see me again (I know that would probably be my reaction). Also I think my best bet for a long term relationship in the end is with Guy #2 and not Guy #1 (which is my ultimate goal)
Gosh, this is hard......I haven't dated in like 12 years and apparently have no idea how you're supposed to do it. Never thought I'd be in the position of dating 2 guys at the same time.

Sounds like a really tough choice, I don't envy you. But it also sounds like you're counting your chickens before they've hatched. Just because you think #2 will ask for exclusivity, doesn't mean that he will. And six dates may be a little soon for that anyway. (On the other hand, I fell totally in love last week after ONE DATE, so anything is possible.)
From the outside looking in, not knowing you or the guys or the situation, I would vote for #2. You said you have MORE FUN with him, you said he's your best bet for the long term and you want a LTR ... If he asks for exclusivity, tell him you need a little more time ... What are you hoping to get from #1?
On the other hand, sometimes I think when we can't decide between two people that we don't truly want either one. Oh, the perils (and pleasures) of OLD ...
If guy #2 asks for exclusivity, I would let him know that you really like him, but you haven't had enough time to really get to know him well enough to decide whether you're ready to date him exclusively (I prefer to date someone for about 2 months before deciding, personally). IMO, a good guy who really likes you is going to understand.
Then take your time in deciding. I have a feeling things will become clearer with more time.
Sheri