Is this a dealbreaker?
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Is this a dealbreaker?
| Thu, 02-23-2006 - 10:46am |
So, last night, I spoke on the phone for the first time with a guy that I met on Match.com. He is 35, never married and very successful with his career. I was trying to keep the conversation going, so I asked about his job, and we proceeded to talk about it for 30 minutes, without him once asking anything about my job, what I like to do for fun, etc. I will take part of the responsibility for the conversation because I am intrigued by what he does (he's a prep school basketball coach), so we talked a lot about my alma mater and basketball recruiting, things like that. After 30 minutes, I told him I needed to go, and he said he'd call me early next week and he enjoyed talking to me (no duh, you talked about yourself the whole time). The fact that he didn't ask a single thing about my life bothers me. My friends think I should give him another chance, but to me, it feels like he is just a selfish guy. Am I jumping to conclusions? Any thoughts?

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I agree with the other poster. It is possible he was just nervous and trying to impress you and he doesn't normally go on and on about himself w/o asking about you, though I have to say that usually guys like this are self-absorbed. I had a convo with a guy like this last night and I am on the fence about him. He said he will call again at the end of the week. I will prob talk to him again and would prob meet him in person, but I have pretty low expectations.
You know the phrase "you never have a second chance to make a first impression"? I believe this to hold true in most cases.
But just to be fair, let's assume he was a little nervous chatting with you for the first time. Maybe he wanted to make a great impression by inadvertently talking himself up?
It might not be a bad idea to give him one more chance to redeem himself before "nexting" him. Who knows, he just might come across differently. If the egotism proves not to be a figment of your imagination, at least you won't be left wondering if you were too hasty.
My worst date was with a vet who talked incessantly about himself, his education, his- basically everything, for the entire date. I don't think I muttered much other than "um hummm" and "oh really?" that evening. By the end, I was exhausted. This, however, was CLEARLY a bad case of "I love me" syndrome. I never saw him after that.
Trust your gut. :)
Don't be so hasty...it wasn't really a long conversation and you said that you talked about your Alma Mater...sometimes we can't cover everything in the first conversation.
F
I would actually give him another chance, but know how you feel. Keep expectations low and see how the next conversation flows. As far as men asking questions, well that seems to be one of the biggest issues I have with men online. They don't mind answering questions, but asking them is another story.
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