Decode this short msg - meaning?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Decode this short msg - meaning?
13
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 7:59pm

Hi to all my chatting board gf's! In case you don't know the whole story, I am dating two guys I met online. I call them guy #1 and guy #2 (in order of likeness). Bear with me on this one:

Update - I like guy#1 more, met 3 times, we have lots of chemistry - at least on my side :) thinking he does too. It's been hard for me to wait for him to contact me since last Saturday. So I sent him an email Monday asking him when we could get together. (I guess he doesn't check his email much), no answer. I then called him Tuesday teasing him for not writing back. Left a message, he called back but I was asleep already, so he left me a message. I called him back Thursday, left him another message. He called back very late and left me another message. Too much phone tag, so I waited for him to contact me again. He called this Saturday, we chatted a bit, I wanted to see him, but he was busy with his work, asked him if he could be done by at least 9 pm, we could hang out for a little bit. He said he will call me if he was free by then, I told him if he did not call by 9 I was not going to be waiting for him. So I went to bed, checked my msgs the next day, he had called about 10:30 pm, left a msg saying he was too tired and apologized. I was a little dissapointed, so I just said whatever, it wasn't a set date anyways, so I let it slide. He asked me to call him back, at this point, I haven't.

So he emailed me this today:

"I am so sorry that I have to work so much right now.
My schedule will be really booked for the next 6 weeks until I get this
movie done.
This is normal for me and why it is so difficult for me to have a
relationship.
My work is my art which is my life and my love.
I really cherish our time together and hope we can have more soon!!!
A million smooches!!!"

Is it ok to answer him back? how soon?? (he doesn't seem to check his email often), or should I call him? Should I just wait until he calls, or just bear with his busy schedule right now and date guy#2 more and wait until he has time for me? What would you do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 8:05pm

"I am so sorry that I have to work so much right now. My schedule will be really booked for the next 6 weeks until I get this movie done. This is normal for me and why it is so difficult for me to have a relationship. My work is my art which is my life and my love."

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but this looks EXACTLY like an excerpt from "He's Just Not Into You." Four whole sentences explaining why he won't be calling you.

I would not try to contact him again and move on... and maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised in six weeks.

T

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 8:06pm

I would take that to mean that he's only somewhat interested, and mostly move on mentally. He *may* ask you out again, or this might just be an excuse.

I'd just answer with a short, "ok, thanks for letting me know, hope to hear from you when your schedule clears". It doesn't matter if he doesn't get that right away. I would not call.

I would continue to date guy #2 until you decide he's not for you, and look for guys #3 and 4 as well ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 8:12pm

Hi Karina,

I agree with the others. Seems it would be better to clear him from your mind a bit and see if he attempts to get closer in 6 weeks.

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 8:59pm

"I am so sorry that I have to work so much right now.
My schedule will be really booked for the next 6 weeks until I get this
movie done. This is normal for me and why it is so difficult for me to have a
relationship. My work is my art which is my life and my love.
I really cherish our time together and hope we can have more soon!!!
A million smooches!!!"

---

Not only is he too busy to see you for an estimated six weeks, he will always be too busy with his life and love. However, he is hoping you will stick around and be available for those free hours that happen every once in a while.

karina -- are you looking for a relationship or a FWB situation? Because this man has clearly warned you that a relationship just isn't possible.

Move on or be prepared to wait for him throughout your involvement with him.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 10:31pm
If he's in the film/Television industry then his schedule will always be insane. I did that for 12 years in NYC and never had a date, much less a relationship. I don't think he's blowing you off. I believe he IS that busy and that tired 'cuz I've been there.
I'd let him contact you and if you're free then go for it...keep dating #2 and whoever else catches your fancy. It sounds like #1 likes you so don't count him out yet, but don't invest too much into him. Let him come to you.
Chele
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 12:29am

Hi Karina,

Ding! Next!...case in point: my older brother is one of the busiest orthopaedic surgeons in south Texas, yet, he finds all the time he needs to call his wife and be with her and his teen daughter. Where there is a will,there is a Way..and this guy is a No Way! My Tall Man has volunteered at work, to be the one to go out for the lunch food, even though he is the Boss, so that he can get a few minutes in his car, to have a very private conversation with me. He knows that if he is In his office at that point, he will be interrupted, so off he goes to Subway!

I agree that if you must reply, make it short and sweet, and do not call or write him again after that. It seems as though you set him a time limit and Told him when he could safely call you and Not have to make a date with you; ie, "after 9"--and he called much later. There is someone who will treat you Much better than this, but you will Not find him waiting for Mr Movie.

Date like Pringles....Stack 'em Up!!!

Best o Luck

truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 12:35am

cupcake, I have developed a huge crush on Tall Man. You may tell him so.

:)
amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 1:37am

u wrote: Date like Pringles....Stack 'em Up!!!

That is so cute, funny!!!! However so true. I hate to say this but it's better that you date 2-4 guys the first month to 6 weeks. It takes time to really get to know someone and while you're trying to find time to fit them in, you won't be fixated on one that forgets to secure a Saturday night date with you because someone else has. In time the one that is the man you're intended to be with will stand out the most by his actions and consitency.

Good luck!

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 8:52am
Cupcake, it's good to see you back.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 11:05am

Date like Pringles....Stack 'em Up!!!


Thanks freakin' hilarous!

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