It is my firm belief that a man who is happy in and who WANTS to be in a committed, monogamous relationship DOES NOT post ads online!
You can give him another chance, but how are you going to be able to trust that he's not putting up another profile on another site or under another user name?
I am pretty much of the mindset that once a guy does this, that's the kiss of death for trust, and without trust, can you really have a relationship that's worth being in?
I had that happen to me in college. I gave him another chance, but he just tried hiding it better. There are some behaviors that can be changed...I believe that infidelity is NOT one of those, kind of like pedophilia in that way. I say move on since you deserve better.
I think that you should just move on. Even if he just hid his profile you would not be able to see it and one would only assume it was cancelled. You deserve better.
I know most people here are saying you should move on and most probably they are right. I just wanted to let you know that when I was in a LTR and was soooo in love with my X and really wanted to have a family with him, I did have a profile online! for me it was just for fun. I know it was not the most ethical thing to do. not to my BF then nor to the people who would write to me on the site because honestly I was not interested and would not reply or respond with dumb emails. My BF never found out but we broke up anyway. I did not feel like I was cheating, it was just having fun and my GF was on the site too did the same(She was single though)
I dont know if he is just doing it for fun or because he never tried it and thought he should... but I m telling you why I did it and maybe he has his reasons. Bottom line is how he acts around you.
I'm sorry you had to go through this but FWIW, I think you made the right decision.
And seriously??? He tried to make this about what HE needs? Well, if he "needed" to do this, then he shouldn't have committed to dating you exclusively, should he have? Unbelievable...and yet not.
"Even if he just hid his profile you would not be able to see it and one would only assume it was cancelled."
Not recommending this in this case, but for when anyone needs to check, on Match.com, if a person has only hidden his/her profile (as opposed to cancelling the membership) it is still possible to reply to a previous e-mail. So if you have an e-mail from the guy in your mailbox, and he says he has cancelled his account but you think he may just have turned off his profile, try to e-mail him. If he can still get e-mail, he's still got a profile hidden away. (Of course, you have to do this sleuthing within a month of his last e-mail to you.)
It is my firm belief that a man who is happy in and who WANTS to be in a committed, monogamous relationship DOES NOT post ads online!
You can give him another chance, but how are you going to be able to trust that he's not putting up another profile on another site or under another user name?
I am pretty much of the mindset that once a guy does this, that's the kiss of death for trust, and without trust, can you really have a relationship that's worth being in?
Sheri
I think that you should just move on. Even if he just hid his profile you would not be able to see it and one would only assume it was cancelled. You deserve better.
Michelle
What a moron for leaving that sitting on the counter!
I know most people here are saying you should move on and most probably they are right.
I just wanted to let you know that when I was in a LTR and was soooo in love with my X and really wanted to have a family with him, I did have a profile online! for me it was just for fun. I know it was not the most ethical thing to do. not to my BF then nor to the people who would write to me on the site because honestly I was not interested and would not reply or respond with dumb emails. My BF never found out but we broke up anyway. I did not feel like I was cheating, it was just having fun and my GF was on the site too did the same(She was single though)
I dont know if he is just doing it for fun or because he never tried it and thought he should... but I m telling you why I did it and maybe he has his reasons. Bottom line is how he acts around you.
I'm sorry you had to go through this but FWIW, I think you made the right decision.
And seriously??? He tried to make this about what HE needs? Well, if he "needed" to do this, then he shouldn't have committed to dating you exclusively, should he have? Unbelievable...and yet not.
Sheri
"Baby, I'm so sorry! I don't know why I was on there. It was a dumb thing to do. I love you and don't want to lose you..."
Translation:
"I don't want to lose you...until I've found something better, because I don't want to be alone."
He's broken your trust, and "Just Isn't That Into You", and will never change...
Sorry he's done this to you, but you deserve to find someone who wants you and only you...
"Even if he just hid his profile you would not be able to see it and one would only assume it was cancelled."
Not recommending this in this case, but for when anyone needs to check, on Match.com, if a person has only hidden his/her profile (as opposed to cancelling the membership) it is still possible to reply to a previous e-mail. So if you have an e-mail from the guy in your mailbox, and he says he has cancelled his account but you think he may just have turned off his profile, try to e-mail him. If he can still get e-mail, he's still got a profile hidden away. (Of course, you have to do this sleuthing within a month of his last e-mail to you.)
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