Did he ghost?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Did he ghost?
7
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 6:49pm

I have been talking to a guy from the yahoo personals. We exchanged pics, and have been emailing back and forth. LAst week he mentioned meeting for coffee. I asked if he wanted to meet up on the weekend and he said during the week is better since he is closing on his house and the next two weekends would be busy. I said that this past week would be bad since I was starting classes again (I also work full time) but after that would be cool.


On Monday he emailed me and said, "I have a feeling we are just going to have to e-mail
for a while longer.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
In reply to: newstart06
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 6:56pm
Nope, not yet. I bet ya hear from him Monday. I'm sure he's all consumed with the move and probably doesn't feel like being social.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: newstart06
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 6:58pm

Not necessarily, but I wouldn't be holding my breath waiting to hear from him, either.

The approach I use early on (through the first 2-3 dates) is to assume that every contact I have with a particular guy is the last one I'm going to have (even if he says otherwise). And I don't mean that I'm sitting around cursing his name or anything...I just release it, let it go, after each email I send, or after each phone call or date I have. If he *does* contact me again, it's a pleasant surprise; if not, oh well, it wasn't meant to be and I'm not sitting around waiting and hoping.

Sheri

Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: newstart06
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 7:57pm

I agree, I wouldn't call him a ghost for at least another week, maybe two. This weekend he's painting and over the coming week he's moving & getting the old apartment cleared out... then he still has to unpack and get settled. When you have that much going on in your life, dating just is not a priority. You might want to consider him a "temporary ghost" and leave the possibility open for later.

Tell ya what too, Sheri's approach (assume every contact will be the last) has totally saved my sanity when it comes to OLD!! I don't wait or hope for anyone anymore, I keep a sense of non-attachment and if someone does pursue me, it's a nice bonus.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
In reply to: newstart06
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 10:50pm
I don't think he ghosted on you. Having moved 3 times in the last 2 years and also once to a new state...I know how completely consuming the whole moving process can be. I'd take his word for it for now. He sounds genuinely interested. All of those deadlines he's having to meet are pretty stressful! If I were you, I'd send him a little note asking how the closing went and congratulate him (is it his first house!?) and you hope the painting and moving is going well, no spranged ankles, no broken glass, no dinged furniture :-) Just be there for him. I bet he comes around and appreciates the note.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: newstart06
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 6:32am
If hes doing all that, I wouldn't think you would hear from him at all, I wouldn't even be near a freaking computer. Moving sucks nevermind having to paint on top of all that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
In reply to: newstart06
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 8:53am
Thanks all-good advice- I am trying to be understanding with him since I know things are crazy with him, but I also don't want to wait for an email that may not come. It's a fine line. I think I will keep my expectations low.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2004
In reply to: newstart06
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 4:13pm

What state do you live in? lol!! One of my guy friends is in that exact situation. It would be funny if it was him.
I don't think he ghosted. I've been that busy myself where I couldn't squeeze in one more thing.

~dremer