A disabling situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2005
A disabling situation
11
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 3:22pm

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to know that you think about this situation:

A young Professional, turning 30 years old this week, just finishing an MBA, starting a steady job, has her own place and is “Pretty” or so she is told by an unbiased source lol.. Now that her life is on “the right track” she seeks a man to love and share her life with. So, far that part of her life as not been very successful …. What’s might be the reason to explain this situation? Her disability perhaps ……

Say you were this lady, who has a physical disability and you’re looking for love and online. Do you ….

A) Write it straight up in your profile, knowing that your response rate will go down or that Guys will write to tell you are: “a pretty, witty and intelligent woman that they would date you in a heart beat IF you were normal” (that’s the most common answer I got from most guys in daily life) That’s why I decided to start looking online, I thought that would give these gentleman to see my personality first and my crutches second.

B) Don’t mention it at first wait until the moment is right to mention it and give him the opportunity to ask question and respect his decision whatever it is. ( I respect a man that would TELL ME HONESTLY that is not interested in dating me because of my disability or for any other reason ) Realty is that, 7 men of 10 stop writing or calling after I mention this “detail” about myself ….

C) Don’t mention it at all, do you best to establish the strongest communication and “bond “possible …. He will realize my disability when we meet face ….. and if it does matter … I can respect that live with it and I know that I can deal with it … even if he walks out on me .

I have not tried that option yet, but I think that I might. Because, I believe that it highlights my strong personally and it also shows how much being disabled is not that big of an “issue” for me and that it does not rule my life nor prevent me from living my life.

Thanks for taking the time to read this …. I know that I could have entered this in the polling section of the site but I wanted to be able to read your much appreciated replies/ feedback. If you need more info please don’t hesitate to ask.

Winnie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 11-08-2005 - 11:17pm
While I agree with him telling it straight out here, I don't agree with the self-deprication. I think it can be done without putting yourself down.

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