Disappointed

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Disappointed
1
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 8:29pm

So last night I got dumped via a very rude email. He said he was dumping me without saying he was dumping me. Ugh - irritating. But I had a date with another guy tonight and a lunch date today with a guy I know IRL. Obviously, the date tonight got cancelled because the guy go the stomach flu. Yeah right - after my experiences with OLD I'm a little jaded, so I don't believe it. But maybe it's true. I don't know what to think. I don't want to keep pursuing him if he doesn't want me to, but I don't want to just stop contacting him if he does want to give it a go.

I'm wondering if he just wants to take a step back. When we first started talking on the phone he told me that he was only interested in making friends, and if anything else was to come then he would let God decide. But after a few more long, wonderful conversations he wrote me an email that said "You're awesome. I love talking to you and I hope you keep calling, because if not then I'll be calling you." I know I should have been offended and put off by that, but I wasn't and I'm still not. We joke around with each other and tease each other, and this goes right along with his personality. I found it endearing. Then the other night we were talking and he said jokingly "I love the way you think - is it too soon to tell you I love you?" We laughed, but he continued to say stuff like "everytime I decide to do something one way God throws something or someone at me to make me go a different way and I think I'm in trouble here." So he's obviously expressing interest, but I don't want to keep up with the emails and phone calls without meeting. The anticipation is getting annoying. Do you think he's just a little freaked out? Could he be afraid to meet me because he's worried I won't live up to his expectations? And here I am wanting to meet him just so I can get over the disappointment if it is to come.

Oh, and the lunch date today - wonderful! This guy is amazing and it turns out he's 2 years older than I thought he was, so that helps. But I can't date him because we work together - BTDT. And he has the party lifestyle - it just would not be good for me to get involved with him. Although, we did manage to start an office rumor, which is just wonderful since my ex-boyfriend works there, too. I guess I'm now offially the office whore. I did my best to squelch the rumors, but there's that impulsive side of me that wants to say "hey, lets give 'em something to talk about!" Tee hee!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
In reply to: lostbee4
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 11:30am

Obviously, the date tonight got cancelled because the guy go the stomach flu. Yeah right -after my experiences with OLD I'm a little jaded, so I don't believe it. But maybe it's true. I don't know what to think. I don't want to keep pursuing him if he doesn't want me to, but I don't want to just stop contacting him if he does want to give it a go.
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Here are my two pesos:

The ball is in his court. Leave it there and see what he does with it. If he picks it up and puts it in play (calls you) then go from there.

If he doesn't do anything or call you again, then you have your answer.

Either way, I wouldn't hold my breath or sit around waiting for him to call. In my mind, I'd write him off but if he should call, I'd be warm and engaging.

Good luck!

P.S. I don't think any woman should pursue a man. Almost every case I know of, it has never worked out. Realize that you are worthy of being pursued. If he wants you, let him come after you. If not, then NEXT!