Disappointed

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Disappointed
7
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 5:42pm

Well, I am disappointed. I was supposed to spend New Years Eve with Teddy, even bought a new outfit and everything. We were planning on going to dinner, and then play pool. But he was on call and got called into work at 10 pm that night. So I spent NY with my cat. =(

I was really upset (not with Teddy) b/c I had arranged for my parents to keep my son that evening, and they took him out of town with them, so I couldn't even spend NY eve with my family or my son.

Anyway, we had agreed to spend New Years Day together instead, just pretend to go back in time... But then there was some confusion as to when he got off from work , and when he told me 11 pm, I was like NO Way that's too late... But he didn't share this with me untl 5pm on Sunday. I thought he got off work at like 7 or 8... but b/c he was on call he had to stay even later.

I shared my disappointment and frustration with him, and he apologized, but I was really irritated b/c I really felt that he could have made that phone call a bit earlier in the day or told me his schedule when he was called into work. I don't know. I know this is not a big "deal", but I was really hurt, b/c I sacriiced time away from my son, and he didn't even volunteer the info that he was on call and there was always a possibility that he would be called in.

So Sunday night he asked me this messed things up for us, and if he still had a chance. He also told me he would do anything to make it up to me. So I told him, that I was just frustrated and disappointed and things would be fine, but if he wanted to make things up to me I wouldn't stop him.

I am getting a vibe... not sure what it is....feeling something like laziness coming from him, I don't know why.... just a vibe....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
In reply to: kae_n_me
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 5:56pm

You’re vibe might be right or just a matter of “bad timing”.....don’t put all eggs in one basket and let’s see how he is from here out. He just might pull through 

Good luck!

SP

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2005
In reply to: kae_n_me
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 7:29pm
If he knew your child would not be with you because you and he had plans and knew that you had gone to lengths to be able to be alone with him, I would consider this extremely inconsiderate. I'd be more than disappointed. I have no idea what I'd do with him if I were you. I'd probably need a week to cool off and think about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2004
In reply to: kae_n_me
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 7:49pm
I thoroughly understand your disappointment. My NYE plans got changed and I was alone too. I would ditch him just yet. See what he does from here. If he really couldn't avoid the change in plans (Is he a doctor?) and wants to make it up to you, see what he does. If he's just thoughtless, this will eventually become evident and you can give him his walking papers then. From what you shared, he seems at least concerned enough to ask about the status of the relationship. He could have just been "oh well." Let's see if he's all talk, first.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: kae_n_me
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 8:49pm
I was going to post and ask you how it all went, but didn't want to call ya out. Sorry it wasn't what you planned... I can't help to think that we've been here, done that with him. Didn't he do similar a few months back to ya? Or am I thinking of someone else?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
In reply to: kae_n_me
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 11:11am

Hi- yeah you must be thinking of someone else. This is the first time he has done this. He is a Supervisor of a group home... not a doctor- I would never date a doctor =)

I don't know why but I just don't think this is going to work out. I don't see where he is putting in the same amount of effort, that he did a month ago. I know this is somewhat normal, but this early on?? And when I mean effort, I mean calling me or texting me as much as he did. I don't know maybe its just me!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: kae_n_me
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 11:18am

I think this is definitely a time to go with your gut.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: kae_n_me
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 3:11pm
To me, this behavior seems to ironically coincide with the time that you two texted back and forth about becoming more serious. You mentioned then that he "vanished" for a few days and you were concerned. Perhaps now that it's a reality, he's getting cold feet or he is one of those types of commitmentphobes that once they have what they claim to want, they push it away either because they decide they don't want it or get scared.

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