disappointed
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disappointed
| Tue, 08-16-2005 - 2:54am |
Hi everyone,
I've posted recently about a guy I met online. I had a great time with him and we have soooo much chemistry but We haven't spoken in a week (maybe he is over me) so I was excited when i finally started talking to this other guy online. We clicked so much personality wise. It was great. I saw pictures and I thought he was handsome but when we met tonight I felf nothing. This guy is definitely going to call me again and I am disappointed that I felt nothing. Now I am back to thinking about the guy I liked that hasn't called me. Any advise?
I've posted recently about a guy I met online. I had a great time with him and we have soooo much chemistry but We haven't spoken in a week (maybe he is over me) so I was excited when i finally started talking to this other guy online. We clicked so much personality wise. It was great. I saw pictures and I thought he was handsome but when we met tonight I felf nothing. This guy is definitely going to call me again and I am disappointed that I felt nothing. Now I am back to thinking about the guy I liked that hasn't called me. Any advise?

Here's my two pesos:
1. Lighten up. Most guys I know seem to have a rather uncanny ability to sense when a woman is desperate. I don't know if that's the vibe you're giving off to guys you meet, but if they're picking up on it, they may either feel put off or scared off by it. They may think you're either "high maintenance" or have really high expectations that they'd rather not deal with the hassle of trying to meet.
2. Chill out and try to go with the flow. Think of each date as an opportunity to meet someone new and don't pin any hopes of having a second date with any of them. That way, if you don't hear from them again, it won't feel like the end of the world.
3. Remember that guys are like buses. If you miss one, another one is probably just around the corner.
Heymum
Good advice from heymum. I am new to this online dating thing and have backed off myself right now...However, just giving advice in general that I would find a third guy. The second guy did nothing for you, but the first hasn't called recently. Maybe Number #1 will call sometime soon, and that would be nice...but I would look for Number #3 in the meantime. :) Good luck.
Sara
As the cupcake chick said "stack um up like pringles" you need to just keep dating. Gosh, I think I'm meeting about 4 guys out in the next two weeks. In a way it's fun (one is a fix up from a friend too, not just match) because if schedules are too busy to meet it doesn't matter, someone else will fill the spot. I'm having fun dating and not being in a relationship just yet, the next time I'm really going to make sure we're a good fit. Normally I focus on one right away that I like best which probably isn't wise. If you rotate the guys and get to know them over a course of a month to 6 weeks eventually one or two will SHINE more than the rest by prooving themselves via actions not words. I had one guy call me a second time last night as I hadn't returned his previous call and was like "jeez" you didn't return my call in a playful way but hey, some truth in that and honestly its the way it should be -- keep busy and if you have time great and if you don't then they will have to wait! I haven't had the thoughts of "I wish so and so would call" in about a month, it's actually pretty freeing so to speak! I try not to get too excited until I've dated them, witnessed how they are and if they are consistent.
I say keep looking, keep your options open and know at anytime they could ghost. But keep the faith and don't settle.
SP
Edited 8/16/2005 12:18 pm ET ET by small_peanut2005
I wish us all good luck in this new dating era!! yeap, we really need it. I am with you riese, why is that the guy we like the most is the less reliable?? why?! I am dating few guys too, trying to stack them up, stay busy, if this one doesn't work, maybe the next will. But that "next" never materializes, I keep meeting guy after guy I don't know for how long, and every single one of them has one issue or another. If it isn't me, it's them, either they like me too much and I don't or I like them and they don't, why this disparity?
I've even been trying to date guys a little out of my "requirement list" so I don't act that picky, I try to open up myself for new people, to look at their qualities instead of their physical, but it doesn't work that much because then I am not that physically attracted, which is important for me. For example, I like tall guys, dark hair, dark (tanned) skin, dark eyes (your typical, tall, dark and handsome) with a good sense of humor, manners, sexy, smart, and all those nice qualities :)
I've been going out with this guy on 3 dates, refer to as my guy#1 and eventhough he wasn't all that in my requirement list, I've been nicely surprised that I really enjoyed my dates with him, he's a cute blonde with green eyes, so beats me that I like him and get all that giddy feeling... I guess he has some of the qualities I like in a guy,: a great sense of humor, sweet not in a smothering way, sexy, kind, respectful and a lot of chemistry. But.... he's not available right now (too many deadlines to accomplish), but I will be cool about that (thanks all of you for your advice on my last posting, I emailed him today and he replied right away), so there's hope... :o)
Another guy I am dating is not that tall and I get turn on by long and muscular legs, (eventhough I'm short), so I am dating him but there's not that hot, giddy feeling when I see him. There's another one I met last sat., he's goodlooking, tall, but he was too sweet, too smoothering to my liking. He was more into me than me into him.
I receive about 10 contacts every day, combined by winks, icebreakers, smiles, emails, but I am not attracted to anyone, sometimes the oldest, most ugliest guys would contact me and all I do is go agh!! and "delete". So eventhough I want to stay busy and keep dating others, sometimes they don't materialize into what I want. So it is frustrating and dissapointing.