Discussing STD's with a possible partner
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Discussing STD's with a possible partner
| Wed, 03-02-2005 - 11:40am |
I'm curious how other people on this board go about discussing STD issues of being tested with someone that they are considering getting intimate with in a progressing relationship. I'm not including casual sex here of course. It's a tricky subject and I'd like to know how any of you have handled this one.
Thanks,
Sunshine

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So, going back to the testing, what would you recommend to have tested for and how much is the total $$?
Not necessarily that they wouldn't show up sooner than that... some bacterial infections for example might show up right away.
The following is from http://www.hivtest.org/
"The tests commonly used to detect HIV infection actually look for antibodies produced by your body to fight HIV. Most people will develop detectable antibodies within 3 months after infection, the average being 20 days. In rare cases, it can take 6-12 months."
Keep in mind also that some infections like herpes & hpv (genital warts) are difficult if not impossible to test for if you don't have visible sores. Some people carry the viruses and never have symptoms so they don't even know they have it. AND the strains of hpv most likely to increase your odds of cervical cancer, happen to be strains that do not produce warts. Some sources estimate that up to 75% of sexually active people have at least one strain of hpv and most don't know it. All the more reason to be careful, folks!
yuck i got the C from an ex who cheated on me. GRoss. I didn't know I had it till I had a checkup with the gyno. Veyr true you don't know you have it. Its easily cured and got it done. But the STD talk, definetly something I talk about when we go off condoms. I use condoms regularly until i am exclusive iwth someone. that way I dont worry about what hes doing - and I am protecting myself. Honestly, I have to really trust a person when they say they are going to get tested, so I would never do it until after some time w/ the guy. So condoms are the answer for me till we're serious and I trust the guy.
Hi tupperkerr,
I agree with Nice Guy, in that you still need to get tested and so does your partner for sexual diseases. You can't believe everything a person says, plus you never know if your current partner's spouse at the time was cheating on them or not and gave them something before they met you. This happened to me with my ex husband and I was so relieved when I found out I had not contracted anything from him as he was cheating on me the last year we were married. The person you are seeing could tell you they haven't been with anyone since their partner, but who knows for sure if they are telling the truth... I mean we all hope that they are, but I'm not willing to take so many chances myself.
Hi Nice Guy,
I had the talk with my guy this weekend and it went really well. He was tested a year ago and says he hasn't had unprotected sex, but if it is important to me, that he will be tested again. So we are both going to get tested as mine was last year also. I feel better that we discussed this. Thanks again for your input on this subject.
Sunshine
Hi Surfergirl,
I agree that condoms are necessary until testing is done and you have BOTH agreed to be exclusive, but even using condoms, there's still seepage of bodily fluids sometimes before the condom is put on and who knows what a person could have and give to you unsuspectingly or even possibly get from you if you aren't aware that you even have something (that you are not currently having any symptoms from), as far as giving or receiving orally. I know it sounds like being paranoid, but it's life.
Also, in what way do you ask to see the guys tests results?
Sunshine
Hi phoenixmama,
Thanks for posting your experience with Nuvaring, I knew it had a different name. Yes I asked my daughter about the size and she said it is larger, I thought it was smaller. SO far she hasn't had trouble with it either and loves not having to remember to take a pill every day. She thought possibly her partner would notice it when he was inserted, but he hasn't and is well endowed I guess, so it wasn't an issue. I'm going to share what you said with my daughter about having good results with it and the moving but not slipping thing. I was wondering myself when the other poster mentioned slipping. Thanks again.
Sunshine
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