Discussion (Tell me what you think)
Find a Conversation
|Tue, 05-20-2003 - 3:11pm|
When it comes to gender, it's easy to generalize: Women like shopping; men like cars. Women like to soak in bubble baths; men like to toss power tools around. But in reality, most would agree that a person's likes, dislikes and desires are highly individual and not based purely on a single determinant such as biological sex. Here's a look at five major myths that exist about women — and reasons why such beliefs are probably better thrown by the wayside.
1. We're all in a big hurry to marry and start a family
Sure, some of us are. But so are some men. And we don't all view dating as a search-and-destroy mission whose sole aim is to get to the altar — and from there to the maternity ward — as fast as possible. More than a few of us go out with you for the same reason you go out with us — to have a good time and see what happens.
2. We need men for physical protection and financial security
Unless we're actually being attacked, macho heroics can be a serious turnoff, so it's not necessary to lunge at every guy who looks at us in a bar. We can take care of ourselves financially, too; our careers are important to us, and we don't need to be "rescued" from them. Want us to need you? Be communicative and supportive; listen to us; offer us empathy and not just problem solving; show us we can count on you emotionally; and treat us like partners.
3. As twenty-somethings, we're eager to date forty-something men
Yes, it's possible that a 21-year-old could have a great relationship with a 48-year-old. But if your dating radar is focused exclusively on women who are 10, 15, 20 or more years younger than you, you're sending out a clear message about your immaturity — not your youthfulness.
4. Single and over 35 means we're bitter beyond redemption
We may not have made a permanent commitment, but we've had satisfying careers, friendships and relationships. We've explored our interests and the world. In other words, we have not kept our lives on hold waiting for true love to kick in. All in all, that makes us pretty attractive women.
5. We say we want a nice guy, but it's not true
Yes, you know some women — maybe many women — who have gone out with one jerk after another. And if you're in a dating drought, it must be tempting to think we want to date jerks. Don't go there. Be the nice guy. Be a good friend. And don't hesitate to follow your heart when it wants you to be a good friend and something more, too. The woman who responds to you will be the one who appreciates you for who you are.