Disillusioned w/Online Dating
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 10-10-2005 - 12:28pm |
I know I'm not the only one to feel this way, but today I feel burned out with the whole internet dating scene. I have met three men via either yahoopersonals or another dating site. While it seems that there are a number of available men on these sites, finding someone even half-way close to what you want seems pretty dismal.
Guy number one and I e-mailed sporadically for a month or so. I really liked him when we met, but it was obvious that he had very little time for a dating relationship. He messaged me after that intitial meeting and we talked online a bit more. But, after not hearing back from him after another e-mail, I basically wrote him off. I thought he just wasn't interested.
Guy number two and I e-mailed for a shorter period of time but more often. He also started calling me daily before we actually met. I liked having more contact and getting to know him before we met. I had seen his photos and thought he was a great looking guy. We had 3 dates, and there was spark/attraction, and I thought that this actually might be a "normal" long-term relationship. We had some differences, but on the major stuff, we seemed to agree on a lot of things. However, the whole thing was going way too fast. I started to care for him (which apparently scared the hell out of him). He wanted someone stable who he could talk to and was attracted to and didn't do the bar scene. He said I was all the things he wanted and needed, but he still "bailed" on me. We talked a few more times after his disappearing act, and it looked like he actually might come around. Haven't heard from him in over 3 weeks now. Still feeling bad about that one.
Guy number three and I instant messaged for almost 2 weeks. We finally talked on the phone the other night and met for dinner last night. It was apparent that this guy would want sex probably much sooner than I was willing to give it, but I agreed to meet him anyway (we live within a half-hour of each other). Upon meeting him, he didn't look as much like his photos as I thought he would and he did not appear to be the ladies' man he tried to portray. I had little (if any) attraction towards the guy. He instant messaged me again (when I wasn't around) last night and asked "what I thought?". He admitted that he was a bit quiet in public, and actually I found it somewhat hard to talk to him in person. I wrote back that I thought about our different views about sex and said that I could not agree to having casual sex with someone. I had to get to know someone better. His theory was that a lot of women use sex as a bargaining tool, which some might. I told him that my emotions tended to get too tied up with someone (even before sex was a possibility) and that it would be even a more emotional thing for me when I did sleep with a guy. I tried not to be accusatory or judgemental with him, and I honestly kidded myself into thinking that maybe I would have a lot more attraction for the guy than I did. Maybe it was wrong to meet him for dinner.
In any event, I'm beginning to feel like the odds of finding someone who actually fits me is getting harder and harder. While I know people add their profiles to sites daily, it's hard to find someone within a reasonable driving distance to where you live. I just don't believe the long-distance stuff works a lot of the time. Maybe it does for some, but I don't see some guy moving to be with me or me moving to be with them.
Maybe I'm just experiencing a "dry patch". Any thoughts or encouragements might help me.
Thanks.

Pages
>But how can we finally meet our nice guy
>.............I do not know................
With OLD the difference between a nice guy or a complete jerk could be as little as 1 inch.
>Stay with us and don't go anywhere, I enjoy hearing from you.
Ok. But I am now posting here illegally because I'm not using Online dating anymore.
And here, you got us all excited thinking we had another man around who was doing OLD... *sigh* How are we going to be able to
Pages