distance btwn us...1st time meeting.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
distance btwn us...1st time meeting.....
10
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 10:02pm
i "met" this guy by chance on a non-dating site. we started IM'ing each other and emailing each other all the time. it then turned to talking on the phone... we can talk for hours and all night sometimes, it's awesome! the thing is, is i live in canada and he's in the states...i'm also 22 and he's 30 (which is completely fine with me, i know age is just a number..so it is not something that bothers me..just wanted to mention that) ok..so...we've been communicating on the phone, through IM and emails for about a year now. we don't consider ourselves a couple or anything... he does his thing, i do mine. we both aren't going to put our lives on hold because we've never met.. however, we have an unbelievable connection with each other and he still gives me butterflies..hehe... we both have never been married, no kids and have no current relationship now. so... what i came here to get advice on, is if you think it would be a waste of money and time if we met up? we were thinking of going to vegas for a wknd, to see how things go. has anyone here ever done that? and if it goes great in person...does long distance relationships really work or would it just be best to let this go now before i get hurt??? thx ahead of time for your comments/advice...mucho appreciated!!!!! ~~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 12:55am

I've been on Dating as a Single Parent board for 7 years, and was cl- for most of them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 2:06am
thx for your words..i really appreciate it. i'm definetly taking into consideration, what you had to say, but like all situations/problems people face..i will have to decide my faith for myself. i agree with you about "breathing" the same air.. seeing what each other is like on a day-to-day basis..it's got to take place. you did mention the moving situation..i haven't thought that far ahead..i like to take things one day at a time, life is too short to worry about the future..so for now..i'll just see where this crazzy world takes me.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 10:42am

You might also want to check out the LDR board, there are lots of people on there who have been in your situation and can give some good insight on what comes next and what to expect. I am currently pondering a LDR, but I had the advantage of dating him for a bit before he moved, but the challenges are similar. One thing I would suggest is that if the two of you plan to meet and spend time together is that you have a back up plan just in case things go awry and you can't stand to spend one more minute with the guy. There is nothing worse than being stuck in a hotel room on vacation with a guy that you find you can't get along with.

Good luck,
YG

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 11:36pm
ufcmami,
i am in the exact same predicament as you, although i haven't been chatting to my guy as long as a year but i live even further away - in Australia. I really think you should meet up, but as someone else said, have a back up plan in case you can't stand each other. What would it hurt to go to Vegas and meet (just don't get married there!!) So what if it doesn't work out? At least you gave it a go instead of thinking "what if" for the rest of your life. If you guys have such a great rapport with each other and you can share anything, i think its worth just seeing what it might be like instead of never knowing.
Having a long distance relationship would be hard, but a normal relationship is hard sometimes too, and you don't not do them in case it won't work out or it'll be hard, why make this one any different? I don't think that it would be much different than what you are doing now, except that there will be more emotional turmoil. You speak a lot, you spend time emailing him, you think about all the time, that would be the same if what you have now developed into a LDR, wouldn't it?
I say give it a go, it's a whole lot better than never knowing!
Good luck and i'd really love to know what you decide and how it goes!
Aussiegal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 12:59am
the "what ifs" are what i'm afraid of... i don't want years to pass and always wonder if we could have been something. we refer to each other as friends, because that's what it has developed into and yes there is this unbelievable connection with each other on a more intimate/emotional level, but we're being realistic about it, just so we both don't end up hurt. i will definetly keep u posted on what is to come and hopefully!! it's all good.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 1:55pm

I am in a similar situation. I'm in Florida and the guy that I've been talking to for about 2 months now is in California. We haven't gone out on a date and I don't know if we ever will. But we get along very well.

I say go for it! You can't have a pessimistic attitude about relationships. That type of attitude will linger and the next guy that you're with will sense it. Every relationship should be new and fresh;

Also, if you are worried about the guy being different when you meet him in person, then stay in separate rooms. Or stay in separate hotels. That way, if things go awry you have a way out and don't have to see him.

Anyway, keep your chin up. I hope things turn out great for you.

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 2:50pm
I would suggest separate rooms NO MATTER WHAT. You can always bunk up if things do go well, but in my experience in OLD, it is much better to be cautious and find it unnecessary than to completely throw caution to the wind to wind up regretting it. This guy is really still a stranger and NO WAY should they plan to share a room from the get go.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 4:10pm

This guy is really still a stranger and NO WAY should they plan to share a room from the get go.


I totally agree!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2007
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 5:54pm
thx guys for all your advice/comments...they are appreciated!! i was actually talking to him last night and we both agreed to meet up at the end of march (only two months away!!). of course i'll have my room..and him, his, but who knows? lol...but i plan to be cautious, b/c like u said...he is just a stranger....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2005
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 6:33pm
I just wanted to give you my 2 cents...I'm in a LDR with a man i met going on 7 years ago...at the time he lived in NV, me in OH. He now lives in CO and me in OH. At the beginning, i had my life and he had his we talked for nearly 5 years...during that time, i was involved in another serious relationship. We were friends and he helped me through alot in my life. Saw so many things that i went though. We met once after about 6 months of talking and it was a disaster...but yet there was this connection that we couldn't say good bye to. Two years ago we decided to meet again and that time it was amazing!! I was single at that time and so was he. We spent a week together and I fell madly in love with him and he me. That was two and half years ago and we are still going strong. It's tough but we have made a commitment to work it. Neither one of us can move because of kids from previous marriages. Someday may, who knows. We see each other about every six weeks. I travel there and he comes here, sometimes we meet somewhere else. He travels alot for business so somtimes i meet him wherever he is. I've had incredible trips to toronto and quebec city. Vegas, Napa, Florida, Denver and next month we are meeting in London. It's hard but it can be done. My guy is sooooo worth it! Good luck to you.