Diversity of Men/Types
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Diversity of Men/Types
| Sat, 11-11-2006 - 1:35pm |
Chanedevorah (lol probably mispelled) suggested a new thread rather than hi-jacking another :-)
So the topic came about with the suggestion that "he" is going to come along one day and it is a strong possibility that "he" will NOT be in the package that I have fantasized about.
What "kinds" of guys have you all dated? DO you always stick with a specific type?
When/if you've ventured into a relationship or dated a man who did not fit into that type - what has the experience been?
I know right now - I am having an ABSOLUTE BLAST with a man who is SO NOT MY TYPE :-)
It's been an eye opener :-)

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I've dated a huge range of "types"...different races, different ages, different professions, different backgrounds, different education levels, different economic levels. I decided long ago that so long as I'm at least *attracted* to someone, the package they come in isn't as important as what type of person he is inside.
The main difficulty I've had with being so open to different types is that a lot of men seem to have an issue with my being more educated and making more money than they do. I honestly don't have any issue with that at all, but unfortunately at least some guys haven't been able to get past one or both of those things.
Sheri
I like this post!
It's strange, the times that I went with guys who were outside of my "type," the relationships seemed to last the longest...
The one relationship that stands out the most for me is one in which I was with the guy for about 1.5 years and was deeply in love. We were both of different cultures, he was about 4 inches shorter than me, a little chunkier than what I would go for, but he had a smile that would light up the dark! That was one relationship in which our friendship was just as deep as our sexual connection! And yet, had you asked me to describe my ideal guy, his description would never have matched!
It's funny... every time I've dated a guy outside of my ideal, it's been a great experience filled with a lot of laughs and learning experiences...
Curious to see what others have to say!
I can't wait till I get home tonight and can respond fully to this thread.
Real quick though...Kerry, I think one of my experience was at least somewhat like yours! My guy was a tall skinny indian man who was totally introverted wasn't close to family saw glass half empty all the time, my total opposite... I was MADLY in love...
More later....
This is a subject that a gal pal & I have discussed at length. Like an earlier thread on chubby guys, I think there will be a diversity of opinion. I most definitely have a "type"- tall, lanky, fairhaired and I really love a guy with great hands, long fingers. That's just an ideal, and my friend has a totally different ideal- dark, mediteranean, more robust build. Kind of a good thing since we won't go for the same guys. Both of us have dated other types, but I have found I don't develop that chemistry thing without at least some of these ideals.
I used to think chubbiness would be a deal breaker, but M is all of my ideals except that lanky build. In fact, I started dating him thinking I'd be able to take things more slowly since I shouldn't get all hot over him with his belly. Wrong. By date #3 there I was jumping in bed with the guy, totally hot for him. Here I am, 4 months later and he still rocks my world.
I have read that rebound relationships are often with the exact opposite type from the X. I certainly am not at all like M's X, but he had at least 2 long relationships before her w/women who weren't at all alike. So I hope I'm not just a passing walk on the dark side for him. LOL. My X? 5'10", 145#, red head- gorgeous hands.
I suppose sticking with a type limits one's choices, there could be a dark, hairy guy out there who is just the perfect person for me and I'd never notice him.
Fun post.
Last guy I dated was bald (not my normal type) and in the restaurant business (operations guy) - normally I'm
Yeah my "ideal" has always been a rugged "manly" man - - lol I'm hooked on "Men in Trees" cause all those guys on it are just so yummy.
HOwever there is C now in my life.
I Would have NEVER considered him only once we met it blew my mind how much I liked him.
Let's see . . . Totally METRO
I live in small town - lots of burly logger guys and that's usually been what attracted me.
C lives in the city - and claims the one he is in is too small for him lol. Drives a flashy car whereas I've always figured a "man" should be driving a big old dirty truck lol. Puts more goup in his hair in one day than I do in a decade and it's quite the hairdo (usually I'm a scruffy hair under the baseball cap fan). I like stubble he's clean shaved. His fashion sense and clothes put me to shame.
But darn it he is good (you know where) and when I converse with him I find that he is educated, intelligent, and driven for success. He's a snuggler and I'm sooooo comfortable around him.
And - he's the first younger guy I've ever been with - in the past men have always been at least 5 years older.
So yeah - because we're so opposite it's not likely to be the "love of my life" . . . but it's sure going to go down as a fantastic experience for me :-)
"It's strange, the times that I went with guys who were outside of my "type," the relationships seemed to last the longest... "
Just a lurker, but wanted to chime in on this one.
I love this subject!! I am an advocate for keeping an open mind about all men that I meet. Young, old, fat, skinny, smart, less than smart etc. Oy the diverse group of men that I have dated. I met my Mr. Right when I was 25 and unfortunately he had 1 out the 2 issues that I refuse to allow in my men - drugs. The 2nd issue I avoid is a man being married. Those are the only 2 things that I have strong convictions in and would be a deal breaker instantly. Of course, there are others that crop up, such as, drinking too much or physical violence etc. You know what I mean.
My last relationship was an English man that lived in North Carolina who I met through my job. He was a small man and I wasn't attracted to his looks by any means initially. But as we grew closer after he went home and we talked daily and I fell in love with him. The time we spent together was great fun and he treated me like a Queen. When the time came for him to work out the details to move to California it was decided that we just weren't where we wanted to be love-wise. He recently married a young woman 29 years his junior and is currently working real hard to have a baby. I love that he is happy and has found his true love.
When I first met W I was instantly attracted to this man. He is 6'5" tall and probably weighs over 400 lbs. His smile lights up my world. That started 6 years ago and I know other women that we work with that also have admitted to be highly attracted to him because of his smile and his eyes. When we finally started "chatting" he told me I was a bit standoffish to him over the course of the 5 years prior to getting to know him. I had to admit that everytime I was anywhere close to him I would start shaking because I was nervous around him. He was stunned by my admission. He still makes me shake. That is why this is so hard to let go of. This man isn't anyone's ideal man but whatever makes me swoon it works for me. I am still wildly crazily atracted to him. I also have found myself to be attracted to other men that are heavier than I normally would.
There are no rules for choosing a mate. For me they can be anyone. Even my young friend was quite a surprise because I always thought when I first met him that he was just a punk kid. We got to know each other and he's amazing. I adore him and wish it could be different for us. I don't have sex willy nilly so sleeping with him isn't an option. I want to make love to him and have a relationship with him not just sleep with him. There is so much respect for each other and that's real important.
Great thread because it gives voice to all our history of out of the box relationships.
F
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