do u send a photo first to a guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
do u send a photo first to a guy?
4
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 12:26pm

Ok, so I'm back to square one on OLD.

I responded to a CL ad the other day. I got a response from the guy and he asked if I had a photo.

I wrote back that I do but would like to get to know one another better before I do. BUT, if he has one of himself, he can send it to me if he likes. No reply back.

Who's in the right, here? Call me paranoid (and I know I am) but I prefer it when the guy sends me their photo first, for some strange reason. I guess it's some kind of reassurance or something, I don't know. I know I'm answering to his ad, but still, I've been answering all the other guys ads and really haven't had any problems with them sending me their photos first. They always get mine in return. It's not like I stiff them.

So I guess I pretty much next this guy, huh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 12:57pm
I say send the photo. What do you (really) have to lose? It shows confidence.

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 2:59pm

No, on CL, I put in my ad that they have to send the photo first. I figure I'm the one putting myself out there so they get to send the pic and then *I* get to approve or not. I don't send a pic without getting one first. One ad I put something like "your pic gets mine" - big mistake. One guy INSISTED that meant that even if I didn't like his picture, that I HAD to send my picture to him because of that statement. Umm, no - but I saw his point. I don't say that anymore! I say "please send a pic and email and if I like what I see and read, we'll go fromt here".

I've had a few "struggles" from CL with this too.

One guy said he wouldn't send a pic because he had a friend that sent a pic to a woman who then put it all over a bunch of porn sites so he wouldn't ever send a picture. I told him that I was sorry that happened but I wouldn't do that and that if he wouldn't send a pic, I wouldn't talk with him anymore. Done.

A guy who sent unsolicited naked pictures (supposedly without realizing it) and got mad at me and called me "too pure" when I told him off for sending naked pictures. I told him that I was the one owed an apology and then apparently he realized he HAD sent naked pics. He asked me to keep talking with him. Umm, no.

A guy who said he had to have his sister send him some digital shots because he couldn't find a disk of ones himself. He finally sent 3 - one of his back, a profile shot of him on a couch from a long way away holding some kid and then one of a little girl on a horse. HUH?

Another guy who first sent a picture of a couple guys on a yacht - it looked like a picture out of a magazine. You couldn't really see them and it was very picturesque. I told him I needed one where I could actually see HIM and he sends a picture of him with his 3 year old daughter. He's giving her a kiss on the cheek and holding a beer bottle to her mouth. How... SICK. If I hadn't nexted him for other reasons (like he was still married with no divorce in sight), that would have done it.

Another one that told me that he didn't have a digital camera so he didn't have any pictures of himself but that I "wouldn't be sorry". Umm, how the heck do you know? Sorry, but no thanks.

Finally, the guy who emailed and said that I had to send a pic first. I responded good naturedly that "if you read the ad, I require a picture first so if you're interested in talking more, please send yours". He then said that the only reason women wouldn't send pictures is because they were fat. I told him that if he'd bothered to read my profile, there was no way I was fat and that he was an idiot. Done.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 3:46pm

Wow, vexer, those are wild stories. I'm sorry you had to go through them.

The guy emailed me just before and told me it was no problem about the photo.

Wanna know something weird though? I think I wrote to this guy before...I don't know. His email addy sounds familiar. Then, when he emailed me before, he listed down his favorite things to do and one of his favorites sounded familiar. Eerie. I'm gonna ask him some more questions and see if they match to what I know about the previous guy.

The reason why I next-ed this guy before (that is, if it is him)? Because he sent me one pic of him with a woman and her face was wiped out. The woman looked like she was all over him.

We'll see about this one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 4:01pm

Nah, it's no biggie. I don't take any of them personally. Actually, I think they are really funny. I take anything I get from CL with a HUGE grain of salt. HUGE. There are plenty of wackos on there and I get my share of funny stories.

That is another thing with CL is because it is anonymous before they send the email, you could get repeaters. One guy that I went out with 3 times before I dumped him because I started calling him Mr. Handsy with good reason, responded to my ad two separate times. The ad was nearly identical and his email was completely identical to the first one. I came to find out that was his "shotgun" email he'd send everyone because another woman that used to post out here who is also from Dallas got the same thing! But yeah, I do get a couple repeats per ad.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo