do we hide behind the 'puter?
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| Wed, 01-19-2005 - 7:36pm |
You know I thought about the times we didn't have OLD in our world/life...
All of my relationships were from meeting in real life first, not on the computer or a dating website.
how did our world get turned into virtual dating???? It seems almost unpopular to meet another in real life.
Why is that?
I realized for me its because I'm always so busy.
In real life, I never make an effort to flirt, throw a smile to a cute guy i see, or to even talk to a cute guy in the coffee shop. Ive become lazy!
Ive hidden behind my computer screen for the last 3 years. And I'm an outgoing person for the most part.
The other weekend, this guy who lives in a bldg two down from me. Hes totally cute and I could tell he was checking me out. Did i stop and say hello to him? No, I kept walking with head down! Bad bad SurferGirl!!!
I kind of "woke up" to this today as I was reading an email from a match person. Hes actually pretty cool (yep sorta getting back on the horse again)... first contact and i dont plan to meet up with him for a lil while.Taking a short break.
But in the meantime, I'm going to try and put as much effort as I do into OLD in real life. Meaning the time i would spend viewing profiles, plowing through winks, etc... I'm going to spend smiling or saying hi to those cute guys in my neighborhood.
what about you all?

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Good post. I think I am on online dating because I am shy. I never did meet many people offline anyway. Never one to talk to people I do not know. I find myself becoming more outgoing as I get older and wiser. I will make an effort to look up and smile more.
Thanks
Michele
If you're really going to take a break, then you gotta hide your profile for a while.
>>In real life, I never make an effort to flirt, throw a smile to a cute guy i see, or to even talk to a cute guy in the coffee shop. Ive become lazy!<<
This might partially be a function of living in the west. You're in the San Francisco area, right? I have often read or heard that in cities out west, like Denver or Salt Lake or Seattle or San Francisco or Vancouver, men are much less aggressive than they are in places like New York or Philly.
And likewise, it seems to me that women are not as "flirty" or as obvious about sending signals to men that they're approachable.
The first, easiest thing for a woman (especially a looker like you, but it works for everyone) to do?
Smile. Look a guy in the eye and smile at him.
Start with CuteNeighborGuy. :)
Something else. If you want to meet someone with the same interests as you, the best thing to do (in my opinion) isn't to write about them on the computer and OLD.
It's to go DO those things! Hopefully some nice single dude will also be doing whatever it is you like, and POW. Remember, you're going to hit him with a nice smile. If he looks a shy type, you might even start a little conversation with him.
You're absolutely right, though- we probably are hiding too much in our rooms, alone, at the computer. Not that I'm changing MY ways or anything. LOL
I too am shy so OLD is kinda a crutch for me. There have been so many times I've wanted to kick myself for not flirting with someone in a coffee shop or bookstore, or even making eye contact. I'm working on it, but it's true that when you've been doing OLD for awhile, you're used to knowing a lot about a potential date before you even meet. I see guys IRL and I expect a profile to be taped to their back, lol.
Excellent topic, surfergirl.
heheh "i expect a profile to be taped to their back", so true.
thanks all.
its just something I realized yesterday.
I understand OLD is wonderful for more shy people - but for outgoing people it seems its used as more of a crutch or lazy tool
last night, I was walking up this very trendy/busy street to meet some friends. Of course 3 cute boys walk by me and i dont even smile/make eye contact. I used to be so friendly to ppl on streets, saying hi, etc. Not to pick them up but out of friendliness. That went away quickly when freaky guys started following me. Not so safe for me.
NGOL - you are right men here are less aggressive. I lived in PA for 4 years for college and when visiting any of the eastern cities I get approached WAY more by men. Here its like nota ...
anyways I"ll let you all know how it goes...
I do it because there are very few single people milling around in my crowd of friends and acquaintances---and the few that are, I wouldn't date. I view it as just one more avenue and way to get myself out there in front of the singles in the world--along with classes, my hobbies, going out, etc.
I certainly don't find myself hiding out with the 'puter or behind it in any way.
Michelle
Michelle
Fill with mingled cream and amber,
I will drain that glass again.
Such hilarious vis
Surfergirl, I had almost the same epiphany last month!
I went for a bicycle ride on a day that was relatively warm for Northeastern Ohio in December, but didn't think through the fact that since most of the trail that I ride is shaded (quite nice in August...) there would still be SNOW on it.
The entire 2 hours I was riding, I saw ONE other person. I'd stopped for water, he rode up and asked if there was snow on the trail from the direction I'd come. (There was... snow AND ice...!) We chatted for a bit, then I took off before my heart rate dropped too much.
As I rode away, it occurred to me that I never even THOUGHT about meeting someone doing something I loved -- I was busy cataloguing my profile replies!
What a waste!! Now I keep my eyes open when I ride!!
Good luck to you!!
BTW, Amjay - I'm also offline as far as OLD for a while, but this board is so much fun -- you're right!
Tracy
I smile and talk to people all the time IRL...but rarely meet anyone suitable for dating.
Sheri
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