Do you ever initiate contact?
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Do you ever initiate contact?
| Mon, 09-22-2003 - 8:46am |
I was wondering, when you spot someone who interests you on an online dating site, do you ever initiate contact? Or do you always wait for men to initiate contact with you? Do you wink, IM or send an introductory email? When you initiate contact, do the men respond? Do you feel that it changes the dynamics of the dating relationship? I'm just curious to hear about your experiences.
jhoover
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Absolutely! I frequently initiate contact, usually with a brief intro email (I recently tried the winks too, but I think I prefer a short email). I've had pretty good luck with guys I've written to responding - not all write back, but a lot do and are flattered that I wrote to them. Actually, I think I have met men more suited to me when I initiate contact than when I just wait for guys to write to me. So many of the guys who write to me are not who I'm looking for - they smoke, live far away from me, don't want kids, etc. I don't think it changes the dating dynamics, b/c after the intro email, I let the guy do the pursuing - he asks to talk on the phone, he asks me out, etc.
ginger
This is my second time around with online dating. Last yr, I contacted several men. Only one ever replied. We did have one date and then he sent an email saying he's not interested in a relationship right now.
This time around, I haven't initiated contact with anyone but most of the men who contact me do not interest me at all. In the 5 months I've been using the site I've gone out with only one guy (the one I was seeing for 2 1/2 months). So I have been thinking that maybe I should take the plunge and get the ball rolling.
As a side note - just this morning I looked at a profile posted by a 27 yr old - still a little young for me but at least he's not 22 like some guys who have been contacting me. Actually, he's looking for a friend and not a relationship. His essays put a smile on my face and his job involves working with kids, which is a huge plus in my books. Just thinking about it...making a new friend...why not?
jhoover
I definitely recommend taking things into your own hands - what do you have to lose? It only takes a few minutes, and maybe something will come of it. Same thing with the 27 year old - what do you have to lose by writing to him? Always great to make a new friend, esp one who makes you smile. I say go for it! :-)
ginger
Oh, I will say that I had my eye on this really cute guy on lavalife and I waited too long and never contacted him and now his profile is down and I'll never get the opportunity to meet him! All because I hesitated in joining that service (yeah, I waited almost 2 months!!!!) and looking back, a simple hello email might have started a nice relationship. So, if someone catches my eye, I'm saying hello.
summer
I have been sending winks lately to guys I'm interested in since that feature was introduced, but I haven't had great success with it (have only had dates with 2 out of the 30 plus guys I've winked at), but I'm not sure if an email would work any better (if they wouldn't respond to a wink, why would they respond to an email? is my thinking). I may have to rethink that though.
Sheri
summer