Do you ever start to wonder....
Find a Conversation
Do you ever start to wonder....
| Sun, 05-01-2005 - 2:08pm |
Have any of you ever reached the point where you really really start to wonder...."What's wrong with me?"
I think I'm attractive. I think I'm intelligent, interesting, kind-hearted and good company. But

Pages
I agree with SP - no matter what - if the other person I'm out with doesn't appear interested, then I'm pretty reluctant to followup (which I've discussed in the past).
Things that let me know she is interested:
-touches me on the arm or shoulder
-laughs, appears to have a good time, appears as relaxed as the situation allows
-asks as many questions as I do
-doesn't appear bored
-common interests
-no negative talk about anything
-the meeting time is appropriate for the location - ie. lunch is not cut short, coffee isn't timed by her watch.
-SENDS A ONE OR TWO SENTENCE FOLLOWUP EMAIL QUICKLY AFTER MEETING - unless the email is a rejection or mentions "I want to be friends (or any variation)" - I know she is interested.
Hi JH,
I have felt the way you are feeling now...questioning if something is wrong with me when nothing is happening to connect with a decent guy. It's so hard to get myself out of that way of thinking when I get that way. You are very pretty JH and from what I have read on here, you have a great personality.
One thing I do believe is that because of your preference of a Jewish man, that is limiting your amount of available men. Do very many Jewish men do OLD? Maybe they are opposed to doing OLD? I see nothing wrong with you having this preference, but this is just what I have thought.
I was in a 25 year marriage and for many of those years there was very little love and it wasn't a good relationship. I would never be with a man now just to be with someone and to not be alone, so I feel now that I should not have wasted so much of my life in that situation (yet at the time I was raising my kids and thought it was better to stay). So I am still working on the single part of life and I am not as comfortable with it as some of the people who have been single longer than myself, yet each year gets easier for me.
I did counseling that helped me with my self esteem and it helped me to deal with some childhood issues also that I needed to work on. I'm not saying you need to do this, but it did help me a lot.
Many of the ladies on here are great ladies who are self supportive and have nice lives. They can be proud of the people they are and that they haven't needed a man to survive. Tea4all was right in what she said in this regard.
There are so many people feeling the same frustrations JH. I have no advice really, just to say that I have been there also.
Sunshine
I've absolutely felt like you have jh. In fact, I posted about it a couple of months back, in a time when I was feeling extremely depressed. I was even thinking of getting some counseling at the time. It had been about 2 years since my divorce and I was having zero luck at OLD (and dating in general), and my self-esteem was just destroyed.
Even though I'm still having zero luck with OLD, I began to feel better by doing a lot of the things people have already suggested on this thread. I took some time to myself, and I decided that I was going to try hard to improve myself in many ways. I've since been going to the gym regularly, taking walks, playing tennis, and just doing things that I like to do. I've also taken Surfergirl's advice and tried to enjoy being single more instead of thinking I can't be happy unless I have a girl on my arm.
I think it's helped. I just wanted to let you know that not only do other women struggle with this, but guys do too. Like I said in chat last night, you seem like you would be a great catch for any guy. Don't give up -- you're not destined to be alone. There's a great guy out there for you somewhere. :-)
Eric
i know i already responded to this post in my chat post last night. but i wanted to tell (as im sure eveyrone else did on this thread) - ive said those same things many times over. ad nausem.
ive always had a problem dating too - some ppl are just more "graceful" at dating than others. I've accepted I"m not so graceful and that is ok. getting to that pt was difficult.
I have had one serious relationship where I almost got engaged to a childhood friend of my brother's. Two other relationships but not serious. The rest of my 24 years were spent single, so yah not a grea ttrack record. But I guess Im an expert in dating rather than relationship, teeeheee.
Pages