Do you need breaks too?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Do you need breaks too?
4
Sat, 06-04-2005 - 12:39am

Hi all,

I've lurked on here a couple of times and have decided to join the woes/joys of online dating...I've got some good ones too! (by good ones I mean bad dates/bad guys/bad ads :) and currently I am giving myself a break from OLD mainly because I'm sick of seeing the same old faces on there.

In the past 5 years, I have been on countless first dates, about 3 second dates, got 1 actual relationship out of it (2 months) and have gotten one good friend out of it (4.5 years now, we have a weird friendship where we'll talk every day for a month and see each other twice a year, but that's normal for us)

Have you taken breaks from OLD? What lead you to do it? Where else do you go to meet guys IRL? About 90% of my friends (I have a small circle of friends) are married or in relationships so they kind of look at me (or I feel like they are) like I'm a social pariah because I'm one of "them" (the single gal) and I'm not into the bar scene, whereas my few single girlfriends are, I'm going to be 27 and have one relationship under my belt which ended last year and like I said above, was only 2 months. I'm just tired of the online world right now and am just frustrated.

I know I'm not alone in this and I could really use some words of encouragement if anyone has some :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sat, 06-04-2005 - 1:13am

I took a break from OLD for about 3 or 4 months. What happened was, some real live breathing good looking men flirted with me in a bar. My confidence level went through the roof, so I revamped my profile and jumped back on the Lame Train.

I'm right back where I started prior to my break!! But I'm determined, sending winks out pretty regularly.

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sat, 06-04-2005 - 2:23am

Hi Becca,

Like anything, OLD goes in cycles. It does get ancient at times, and that is just When you should take a break, as I think that attitude can creep into your chats and meets. It is hard not to get jaded, but important that you Do get some 'armadillo armor' around that sweet heart of yours. Best advice I got: "Go meet/enjoy/Come Home". Nothing more expected. Go on about your life, and maybe do not check your dating sites every day. If you are looking too hard for something, you may never find it.

BUT...it IS there. My best friend and I both met our men on Match.com. She got married last year after a 17 month courtship and is very happy. I have been with Tall Man for 3 months, he is wonderful--no one said you have to be perfect, you just have to be Perfect for each Other.

Ok, Now I am done with the Hallmark part. Bottom line basics are that you do OLD as long as you are enjoying it, and it is not rocking your planet into the Sith zone. When it does, set this circus down and go on about real life. When you come back ,things will be brighter and you will know more about You; which is always great!

Good luck, keep the board posted!

Truly,
Cupcake(do u have a yellow lab? My Jackson is 106 lbs of constant affection, and almost 14 years old!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Sat, 06-04-2005 - 5:57am
Making your profile invisible for about a month seems to peak interest when you return. It's not a bad idea to relax for a bit - especially if you've had an annoying online encounter or two.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2004
Sat, 06-04-2005 - 10:14am

Yeah, I'm not at a point where I'm ready to embrace it again, still have the negative attitude so I think I'll stay off for a little bit longer :)

Yep, that's my Simon, just turned 3, he's only 70 pounds. I saw another yellow at the vet yesterday and Simon just looks so little compared to other labs! I think we got the runt, but it's okay, he's my runt!

Here's another pic :)

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