Do you think dating sites can manipulate people to contact you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Do you think dating sites can manipulate people to contact you?
15
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 10:45am

I sort of touched on this in another thread, but I wanted to start this as a new topic.

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Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004

I have not been on match in over a year but I think anything is possible as to how they run their site. I remember looking at my Daily 5 or whatever it was called. I have no idea how they decided who would show on that list but it is certainly possible they put you on a bunch of guys lists and thats why you got so many winks. They must be constantly updating and changing their algorithms as to who shows up where and for how long and for who, etc. They may very well have programs that check and see who has gotten little to no interest in a while and throw you up on the Daily 5 or put you to the top of the searches for particular criteria. They are there to make money so it is in their interest to keep as many people interested as possible and keep laying their subscriptions. Those first fewp ages of search results are certainly very coveted, as they are coveted on google by advertisers. Few searchers make it to page 10 or beyond. I sort of remember my experience ot be "spurty". Dry spells and then things got hot for a while. I guess we will never know if they are sending out fake winks but I can see how someone might not respond to you emailed in response to a wink. Some guys are just playing around. Some guys are looking for hookups. Some have already gotten interested in someone else. So many choices out there its easy for a guy to suddenly change his focus to a new woman because she is hotter, etc. I know its so hard to not take all this personally. I had so many people ghost on me, even after some good email exchanges where you thought you were their number one prospect, then suddenly poof they are gone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

There is a class action lawsuit against match (that someone else on IV had mentioned before) and one of the claims is that they will send out fake winks right before your subscription ends so you will sign up again--mine isn't going to end for over a month, and I haven't said I will cancel yet, but I will bet if (probably when) I don't renew, then I will get all kinds of interest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010

From the male perspective, it is known that

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006

I've been doing OLD for three years (kind of sad, right?) with some breaks along the way. I join for 3 months at a time to get the better rate. I've never noticed an uptick in interest when the three month period was ending. What I do notice is an uptick after I have been logged in to the site. I think there's a way for men to view "who's online now"? I've also noticed an uptick when I update my profile.

I tried eHarmony for a one-month deal (really hated it). The first match they sent me was 16 years older than me. Seriously? I don't know if it's still like this, but you couldn't specify an age range. When I didn't renew, suddenly they sent me a bunch of men closer to my age.

I'm sure the sites are using everything in their power to keep you coming back and signed up. I have heard the story before about Match posting fake profiles of beautiful women. I've also heard that men far outnumber women on the sites, so it's one of the rare "singles events" where men outnumber women, LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I didn't notice that age problem when I did a free trial of EH, but then someone warned me that you have to say that something is "very important" to you to get that category, like if you only want someone in your local area, you have to say it's "very important" otherwise they will send you people from far away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

The 3rd guy who winked at me turned out to be a real person so I guess I am getting a little more suspicious.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006

Well, I'm putting Match.com to the test. My currently membership is up in mid-May, so I cancelled the auto renewal this morning. The summers have been notoriously slow with OLD for me, so that seemed like a good time to take off. So, we'll see what they do to entice me to stay.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010

Yes many do manipulate to keep the money flowing.

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Mine is up in May too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

As a friend of mine pointed out, these companies wouldn't stay in business if everyone was successfully meeting people right away.

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