Does it ever make you feel better....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Does it ever make you feel better....
22
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 9:47am
Does it ever make you feel better to send a 'not-so-nice' email to someone you've been out with, thought liked you, got along with, talked about doing things together, great chemistry...but then you never heard from them??!! I know it's just disappointment talking..but I haven't heard from the guy I spent the day with Monday. We had such a great time! I don't get it. I sent him a short thank you email Tuesday morning but never heard back from him. I've been drafting an email to him that I might send next week if I don't hear from him. My message basically says that I'm disappointed I haven't heard from him, looked forward to seeing him again, thought he was a nice guy, etc. I just really hate this whole thing. I don't know if I'll actually send it, but it helps to get it out and beats me crying over him!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 10:26am

Donna,

Since I wear my emotions on my sleeve; I've done this in the past. My advice is that it's normal to feel confusion and frustration when dates go like this but it's probably best to refrain from doing it as it doesn't accomplish anything. And once the e-mail has been sent; there is no way to bring it back. And one other note, never write e-mails like this after having a few brews. :-)

TT

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2005
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 10:30am

Oh sweetie, I've sooooo been in those shoes before :)

In a situation like this (or anything that gets me really upset), I'm a big fan of beginning a letter as if I'm going to send it to the person. Get all the thoughts and feelings out, then sit on it a few days and mull over whether or not I really need to send it. Sometimes I do, but most of the time- I don't.

I've found this to be very therapeutic and is the next best thing to communicating with the "offender" without giving them the satisfaction of knowing they've gotten to me. Many times just seeing my thoughts on paper is enough to put things into perspective. I've found that waiting a few days is better than hammering out a letter and mailing it when I'm feeling emotional (and may regret something I said later!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 10:38am
What has he done wrong that you need to bring to his attention? He is most likely busy right now with those other 2 women he is seeing, getting his broken wing massaged.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 11:03am
I guess he hasn't really done anything "wrong" but he fed me so much sweet talk about how he really liked me, how pretty I was, how he wanted to meet me really bad, that he'd take me places, that he didn't want an online friend, he wanted someone real...on and on...and I fell for it. I think I'm just in a bad mood!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 11:21am

No it's not worth it, if they don't care enough to call, writing an email isn't going to suddenly make them care.

I just say "eh whatever another one bites the dust"

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 11:29am

Don't do it.

You're just giving him another chance to reject you.

And if for some reason he does respond (a) it's going to be a bunch of B/S excuses why he didn't call so he can (b) setup one final date to see if he can score some easy sex.

PS - You do know the downfall of the "too long" first date, right?

PPS - What are the odds that he'll see your followup email and have a change of heart? Has this ever happened in all of the face of mankind's existence on earth?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 12:00pm

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been there and it sucks!


The reason he "fed" you all the sweet talk is because you are pretty and have a lot of the qualities that make a great girlfriend... Why is he not running after you then? Because he's a fool!


In my opinion, this is his issue, not yours. If you send him the email, you're making it your issue and you're essentially running after him. He's an adult, let him learn the lessons he needs to learn on his own. You keep your head up and know that you handled the situation with more class than he'll ever have.


If you want to vent, vent to us! :) If you want to write, write it down in Word so you can't hit send... I've always found that venting it on paper has helped me and weeks later when I looked back and didn't send it, it made me feel good. Real goooood! :)

Kerry


If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting... -- Les Brown

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 12:15pm
thank you...I like the way you put that it's his issue not mine. Very true. It just makes me angry. I feel like I've been played.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 12:34pm

That’s the thing with OLD or otherwise until you have a talk of commitment or exclusivety all these guys you’re just getting to know can disappear no matter how interested they seem to be.

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Fri, 06-03-2005 - 1:10pm

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