Down in the dumps
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Down in the dumps
| Sat, 04-02-2005 - 11:54pm |
I recently broke up with my boyfriend and a friend suggested I go to one of the online dating sites to try my luck.
I got "winked" at right away and then we exchanged three brief e-mails. He asked for a pic and I e-mailed it to him. He hasn't responded.
My friend meant well, but now not only have I been dumped, this guy who saw my photo must think I'm ugly as sin and wants nothing more to do with me. That does wonders for my self esteem.
At least I'm still maintaining my sense of humor about the situation.

There's only one person who can do anything about your self esteem--you! Just because some dude on a site didn't respond after you sent a pic means NOTHING. Who cares what he thinks? It's what you think at the end of the day that matters.
Maybe you should take a break from dating for a bit, until you've gotten over the ex? Take the time to work on you and fall in love with yourself.
Keep us posted.
I'm a guy and I'm online too. I recently had someone wink with no photo. She subsequently posted a photo. I haven't followed up -- not because she is unattractive or has a bad profile. I simply have too many (for me) people that I'm trying to correspond with and I'm not interested in taking on more until things settle down. So I had a choice of emailing and telling her that or just not replying. Based on my past experiences I simply didn't reply. So it's not always about not liking the photo or profile. There can be external events unrelated to you.
In any instance, Online Dating is a numbers game. Don't put all your eggs into on basket because for a while you won't know what is going on with the other person.
Hey amy. I agree with what both posters have said so far.
1) Just because this guy didn't respond when you sent the photo doesn't mean he doesn't like your looks. There could be any number of reasons. Admittedly one of them is that maybe you are not his type physically/lookswise. But so what? But that is one of the main reasons that I put a picture up front in my profile. If someone is going to reject me because of my looks, they can do it up front when they see my pic at the beginning. If they reject me immediately after seeing my pic (if I were to send it later in the process), it is a blow to the self-esteem that I'd rather not deal with.
2) You need some time on your own! Lay off the OLD for a few months until you get over your ex. You haven't even had time to reflect on anything or be on your own. You do not HAVE to have a boyfriend in your life to be happy and don't let anyone convince you otherwise. And anyone you would meet now would be a rebound thing and/or would likely not develop into anything really healthy because you haven't had time to figure out who you are again after the break up of your last relationship. Just have some fun being single for a while. When you feel ready, get back out there. OLD may be a way for you to do it, but it might not because it isn't for everyone. You have to have a thick skin and not let things get to you. Good luck!