Drinking Status

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Drinking Status
27
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 4:16pm

How important of a trait is it whether someone drinks or not?


I stopped drinking a year ago for both health and personal reasons, and for a while, I had put my status in my profile as a non-drinker.

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Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mrblue732
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 7:50pm
I know what you mean about making a personal choice not to drink.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
In reply to: mrblue732
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 10:50pm

I wouldn't have a problem with someone not drinking if they chose not to, as long as they didn't have a problem with my drinking socially :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
In reply to: mrblue732
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 11:18pm

Hi Violet.


There is an option to leave it blank, but based on my own experiences of searching and viewing profiles, I think leaving blank would raise more eyebrows, as it may give the impression that I'm trying to hide something.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: mrblue732
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 7:54am

I am a social drinker, and I would prefer my partner to be the same. I always assume that when someone checks off "non-drinker" that they are a recovering alcoholic. Like a previous poster says, I don't have a problem with that as long as they don't criticize me for drinking, and if they've been in recovery a long time. I wouldn't let the fact that a man doesn't drink stop me from meeting him, and if the attraction were sufficient, it wouldn't be a deal-breaker.

On the other hand, I think there are plenty of people who check "social drinker" but in reality are heavy-drinking alcoholics.

I have known people who are really into their recovery, go to meetings, become very religious, etc., and frankly, they talk about it too much. This seems to be mostly true of people who are new to the program. I am in no way criticizing AA, I know people who would probably be dead if they hadn't gone into recovery. But AA becomes a tribe that drinkers cannot be a part of, and rightly so, but it can create a barrier. I'm not saying everyone is like this, and I would much rather be involved with a non-proselytizing non-drinker than an alcoholic (and in fact, I would not become involved with an alcoholic, been there done that). I know you haven't said that you are going to AA, or that you even have a problem with alcohol, but these are the sorts of things I think of.

So, I can see why you hesitate to check "non-drinker" but I think it's important to just be honest in your profile. Plus, you may attract another non-drinker.

Edited 2/14/2010 7:10 am ET by floridagirl52




Edited 2/14/2010 7:11 am ET by floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: mrblue732
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 2:57pm
For me, it wouldn't be an issue since I'm a light drinker--maybe one drink or glass of wine at dinner, but I don't have to have one. There are other people who do consider it more important. I do think that some people would think it's deceptive for you to say "social drinker" and then find out that you don't drink at all. If you feel the need to explain, then maybe you could add a line to your profile that while you don't drink, you don't mind it if a woman does drink socially. Cause maybe the women will be afraid that you are a recovering alcoholic and they won't be able to drink around you. Or that maybe you won't want to go out to a bar, although I know you can go to a bar for the music or fun and just drink soda.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mrblue732
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 4:12pm

As a non-drinker myself, I think putting social drinker is deceptive.


Everyone gets to choose the traits they want in a dating partner, and if someone wants to be with someone who drinks alcohol, then that's a choice they should get to make.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
In reply to: mrblue732
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 8:37pm

I am barely a social drinker and often go for months without having a drink. I would be more concerned that the reason you are a non-drinker is that alcohol is/was a problem for you and suspect many women would also have that concern. Perhaps if you included a brief mention of it in your profile, you could address those concerns without resorting to selecting an incorrect description.

Personally, I couldn't care less if my partner never drank. In fact, he drinks about as much as I do (not much) and that isn't a problem for me in any way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2005
In reply to: mrblue732
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 1:07pm

Maybe I'm a little naive, but I would never think that a person might be a recoverning alcoholic simply because he puts in his profile that he does not drink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
In reply to: mrblue732
Thu, 01-28-2010 - 9:15pm

Wow... this thread has been very enlightening!


I have never been a drinker... how ironic is it that because of that fact, somewhere women are actually thinking that I'm a recovering alcoholic?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
In reply to: mrblue732
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 1:55pm

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