Education?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Education?
9
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 12:39am

been corresponding with a guy on Lava. He seems interesting.
Red Flags:
1- Educational background has the "I tell you later" answer
2- Salary has the "100k+"

He says he is an exec at a really big company, one of the largest employeers in my city. He works in IT (my field also)

When asked about his education, he said when I was fresh out of high school, there were no certifications in IT ... (he is only 34)

not to be judgemental but he strikes me as someone looking to impress with his salary and cover up for the lack of education.

I have 2 master degrees and never dated someone with no formal education. Do you think I should go ahead and meet him this Friday or I have a dealbreaker here.

I m not too comfortable meeting him and then saying it is your education or lack of that made me decide not to see you again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 7:15am

Hmmm tough one. Does he seem educated? See I have an education thing too. However, I have met people who did not have degrees yet could run rings around me mentally. So that's what would be the deciding factor. Does he read? Can he write well? I would be looking at things like that.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 8:10am
Hi,
He may have some other education that you don't have. School of hard knocks, school of life. If his income is true, he must know something...For your sake, I hope it's all legal. I would give him a chance.
E
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 9:07am
Is it a dealbreaker for you that someone doesn't have a college education? If so then don't go out with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 10:12am

I'm with Kerry on this one. I prefer to date someone with a minimum of a college degree. Not only is the education important, I think finishing your degree shows a resolve to see things through and achieve something better for yourself. However, there are definitely people out there that are highly intelligent and great people that do NOT have a degree. I'd have to consider how well read and spoken they were. If they don't have a degree but are intelligent and can hold a great conversation, I'd have a really hard time nexting them ONLY because they didn't have a degree.

I do think I call hooey on the certifications thing tho. I am 35 so would have graduated college around the same time. I didn't do IT right away, but there were PLENTY of things to do in IT in the early/mid 90s when he would have graduated. And it only went up from there. He could very well have just been one of those computer geeks from junior high though that already was way ahead of his peers and decided to go to work instead of college. Who knows? I'd give him a chance tho. You never know.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 11:32am
I'm college educated, and I admit to wanting a guy who has a degree or at least some college/technical school behind him. What is more important, I think, is finding someone who is well-rounded about life in general. My ex had a college degree and a very high GPA but was clueless about the real world. In my past dating scenarios, some guys who had been in the military seemed to be pretty worldly and intelligent. So, while I think some kind of formal education is important, it isn't always the make or break factor if they seem mature and knowledgeable about life overall.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 11:40am
You know, at first I was calling hooey on the cert thing too. But I'm 32 and was thinking about when I graduated HS. There really weren't any certs out there, not like now anyway. During that time, it was more DOS based and Microsoft hadn't really taken hold yet. Macintosh was still a huge power and aside from IBM-based programming, there wasn't a lot of room in the field. Mind you, I won't dare say there were NO certs, but based on my memory (which could be faulty) I can see what he means...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2006
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 12:58pm

A couple of thoughts . . . if the no-degree thing is a dealbreaker for you, don't meet him. If you aren't sure, there is nothing wrong at all with meeting him, even if you ultimately decide that you don't want to continue seeing him. And if you do decide not to see him again, you don't need to tell him why, you can just say I don't think we are compatible.

I don't like the "I'll tell you later" thing - he is basically saying he is insecure about his lack of education and trying to conceal it. I would much prefer someone who is secure enough to be upfront about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 1:28pm
Well I don't know if it's hooey you can certainly work in the IT field without having an certification at all, my aunt does.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
In reply to: juliara2003
Wed, 03-01-2006 - 1:45pm

I say it couldn't hurt to just meet up with him, hang out over a cup of coffee and a bit of conversation and then make your assessment from there. If he doesn't do it for you, you've only spent an hour of your time, thank him and that's that.

I have a Masters Degree in theatrical design from NYU but I might not have a lot in common with an MBA from Columbia. I find a college degree is important, but for me it may or may not be a deal-breaker. If a guy is interesting, can communicate with intellect and humor and shows some knowledge and curiousity about what's going on in the world, then assuming there are no other red flags out there at this point then I'd give it a shot.

I know several people with college degrees who are social misfits and completely clueless when it comes to human connection. One of the first guys I dated from OLD had an MA in Political Science...and he was a talker. It was interesting at first because I don't know a whole lot about politics and I looked at it as motivation to expand my political knowledge, but it got really tedious after a month because that's all he could ever talk about and was quite superior about what he knew and I didn't.

Just my 2 cents,
Michele

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