Eharmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2000
Eharmony
3
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 1:03pm

Hello, all!

I am trying online dating (eharmony) after a unsuccessful relationship (marriage,divorce,now single mom) from a jerk I met online. Needless to say, I have had quite a few interesting & great conversations back and forth with guys from eharmony. I have reached the open communicationstage with 2 (one that I forwarded my e-mail address to and we chat back and forth/ the other guy he is comfortable with just chatting back and forth through eharmony, as he is an emt and I work 2 jobs at the moment, and we felt this was the best way for communication).

My question is when you have so many matches in the eharmony system. Do you exclusively narrow your options? Or do you just keep it open and chat with several people? At this point in time, I am chatting with several different people. I initiate communication or they initiate communication? Does this sound like a plan? My experience has been that knowone has narrowed their communication down to one person, am I right??

Thanks!

Christy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
In reply to: christine_1976
Sat, 11-25-2006 - 7:03pm
I haven't used eHarmony so I'm not sure if I'm answering your question correctly. But if you are asking if you should stay exclusive in online communication with someone I don't think so. You're going to talk to many guys and have many meets before you find someone you're going to want to be exclusive with in real life. I have talked to many online at the same time. Just make sure you save previous emails so you can keep track! Did I understand the question correctly?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
In reply to: christine_1976
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 11:51pm

Never assume that you are the only person your contacts are talking to, so chat it up with several guys yourself and have fun! One of the benefits of old is that you have the freedom to be fickle, since the selection is varied and plentiful. If you only chat with one person and he ends up being a loser, then you've wasted all that time.

I'm just now getting used to this idea, but I'm starting to enjoy it. Still, I'm at the stage with one guy in which I would say that we are seeing each other without exclusivity and I do feel guilty for continuing to arrange meets with other potentials. But I'm getting over it, because this really is a lot of fun ;) And after being married for 8 years and in a serious relationship for 8 months immediately following my separation, I think I'm due for a little bit of fun, and so are you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
In reply to: christine_1976
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 10:40am

I definitely wouldn't stop talking to someone or narrow your search at all just because you are having good conversations with one guy. Personally, I made the mistake of cutting some people out prematurely when I thought a potential guy and I were getting along really well. As I said, that was a mistake. You may as well keep talking to as many people as you can handle and meeting as many of them as you can until you're with someone who has actually asked you to be exclusive.

Also, this is just a sidenote and may not really apply to anyone but me... but when I was using eharmony and all the other dating sites I tried (match, ok cupid, yahoo) I never had any luck when I contacted the guy first. Even if all I did was send the guy a wink or nudge or whatever, it has never worked out for me. Now I just let them come to me.