eHarmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
eHarmony
15
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 11:43am

Hi. Has anyone used this service? If so, what where the people like?

Thanks,

Fan

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 12:06pm

Hi,
I'm on eHarmony, and this is my second time going back on their. I tried it about a year ago w/no luck. They hardly have any matches for me...some people have claimed to have over a hundred matches to choose from, unfortunately I wasn't that lucky, lol. I guess my personality is unique!
The service is not 100% accurate of course, they matched me w/someone that had a different religion than me in which I specifically stated that I wanted someone who shared the same faith that I did. They suggesst that you put your photos/pics up for viewing after open communication has begun..I disagree with that. I put my photos up first thing, and I would hope the other person would do the same. I have to see what the person looks like, granted physical attraction should not be priority BUT it does have to be there for me.

So, I've had a total of 6 matches (within a whole year). To me that is a waste of my money. I think it cost $50 to subscribe for one month. Hopefully someone on here has had better luck and advice on it than I do. Not trying to dog the site, it just didn't work for me.

I prefer match, yahoo, and dating tech network(Tango Wire)...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 1:10pm
I signed up 6 months+ ago, and they have yet to produce one match ! They suggest that I widen my search area, but sorry I'm not dating a guy 4 states away. I say it's too expensive, pass it. Also speaking of expensive, I sign up with Perfect Match, they advertise that their guys are a better, more committed;etc. Bull! These guys are the same like all the other sites, lying, playing games and ghosting. When my sub runs out in November, that's it for me, I've had it after close to a year of different sites with the same results, nothing ! OLD is not for me ! It only benefits men for the most part, and if you're not slim, forget it! Weight discrimination galore !
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 1:25pm

>It only benefits men for the most part

I don't think so.

>and if you're not slim, forget it!

I am inclined to say that if you are not stereotypical, forget it.(No offence to anyone here)

>OLD is not for me !

This I agree with. It's not for me either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 1:26pm

I've used it. I like it, however my area didn't have a lot of matches. I'm not close enough to Boston or NH for people to want to make the trip. I think if you live IN boston you'd have better luck or in a town closer to the NH border. But I live more central MA and unfortunately not a WHOLE lot of matches and I couldn't keep paying 50 bucks to keep it open.

But for the most part i liked the questions, the set up etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 1:26pm
I never subscribed b/c I wanted to see how many matches I would get. I signed up in April of this year and before my profile was yanked in September I only had 3 matches. My profile was yanked b/c I honestly did not know you could not include your personal email address in your profile. I swear I had no idea.... Oh well! I think they are too expensive anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2005
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 1:31pm
I subscribed to eHarmony twice with no luck either time. First time, about a year ago, got me a handful of matches. I wasn't as pro-active back then so I figured the failure was mine. Earlier this year they got me back in with a 3 months for 29.95 special. I had also read Dr. Warrens book and thought it really made a lot of sense.
The important thing to know is that you have no ability to search their database. eHarmony choses your matches. Initially they sent me about 6-8 matches then as the weeks went by I'd get maybe 1-3 a week. Also many of the matches they provide for you are people who have not yet subscribed, so the idea is that if you open communication first it'll lure these guys into subscribing...just like all the other sites.
One of the big problems I had were matches that were clearly unsuitable. For example, I don't want to have kids, pretty important right?...Well I'd get matches from guys who clearly stated they wanted kids.
I opened communication with at least 20 people and all of that resulted in one meet. The guy was a bit of an odd ball.
The communication phase just seems to take soooooo long as you exchange a series of multiple choice and open ended questions before you progress to open emailing. It took a long time to meet up with this guy only to find out we were so not compatible.
I believe this has been one of eHarmony's complaints, this time factor, because just before my subscription expired, I noticed a new feature where you can go directly to open emails right away. eHarmony Express. LOL
I've seen this issue posted before and there are others who have had luck with eHarmony. I just felt it was a huge waste of time and money. I prefer match.
Hope this helps.
Michele
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 3:18pm
I didn't mean to say all men are successful at it, but rather on some sites they have the upper hand and they know it. A survey was recently published and it found that men indeed do have the upper hand on OLD sites and also men addmitted that they don't care what's in the profile as long as the picture posted looks good, they go for it. Where as women will make choices based on total profile content and not just the picture. I'm sure you have a good point about sterotypical selection, but I have had pigs(not men) in the past write me and tell me that "I'm so geourgeous, too bad I'm so fat". I'm papraphrasing to be polite, but belive me I let have it! I'm the master at ripping out new body parts when warranted, lol.
The sad thing is that I wasn't expecting to meet the love of my life or anything like that. I just thought it would be a good way to socialize, meet new people, make new friends, but the men turned out to be so rude and obnoxious, that none of that happened.
You would think that 40 something men would have more class and maturity, go figure !
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 4:21pm

I did the free online profile with e-harmony some time back. I found the questionnaire very tedious to fill out--some questions too trivial to base any judgement about someone's character on. Also, the one profile I was sent did NOT include a picture and he lived over 200 miles away from me. I live in Missouri and this guy lived in Nebraska. I think they mess up by trying to match personality traits TOO closely while ignoring other factors like location, physical attraction, etc.

As far as the weight issue goes, there are some men who do like heavier women. I've known a number of couples like that, but you have to be willing to accept the fact that it's usually the heavier guy who wants a heavier woman. (Although some couples I've known were the combination of a thinner guy and heavier woman.) The majority of average or thinner guys are looking for someone about the same as they are. I guess I can't fault them on that.

I also think most 40-something men should know what they want by the time they reach that age. Two of the 4 I've either met or corresponded with were clueless about what they wanted for the future. I know that I don't want to be alone when I'm in my 50's or 60's. Those two guys SAID they felt the same way, but their actions told me they weren't done playing the field. I believe that OLD should be for people who are serious about meeting someone. Trouble is, most women want something long-term, and most men are looking to have a good time. That combination of expectations makes for a lot of hurt feelings. I know, I've been there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 4:37pm

I prefer Match.com, too. It was important for me to search, and eharmony wasn't allowing that. I'm perfectly capable in determining what I like or don't like in a profile, and match lets you search by any criteria that you want. I thought that eharmony charged way too much for the meager results they provide you. It's awful. You just have to sit there and hope that they e-mail you something. It's not proactive at all. Plus, I work in a very, very large office building with lots of singles, and the men all agree that they just don't have the patience to go through that questionniare. So the joke is, if you're on eharmony and willing to go through all of that and pay the $99, then you must be REALLY desperate.

Just telling you what I hear.

Tobi

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
In reply to: wrestleingfan
Tue, 10-18-2005 - 5:03pm
I can't say that I've gotten a lot of hits from Match.com, although I am talking to a guy I met via that site. Although, I got a lot more matches through Yahoopersonals, I only met and went out with one guy from that site (the one who ghosted as they say). I did really like him and took it very hard when he bailed on me though. I've since cancelled my subscription to Yahoo and will probably do the same with Match.com eventually. The price to stay with Match is higher than with Yahoo. I agree, though, it's a man's world when it comes to dating. Others might disagree, but for me, this has been a very tough subject for me to talk about because I've been hurt so badly by men in recent years. It helps to have a board to voice our opinions on. At least there are others in the same boat.

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