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Eharmony
| Sat, 04-02-2005 - 9:07am |
Has anyone had good experiences with Eharmony? I just signed up for a one month subscription and started corresponding with someone that lives in my area. I want to hear about the good things;but, if people have bad experiences that would be helpful, too.
Thanks!
Christy

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Eharmony has been good for me. I know of 3 real life couples that are together because of it. It does take a little longer than most places, but I must say that most of the guys I've met there, even if I didn't have attraction to them are people that meshed with me intellectually. There was at least a basis for friendship with them. And since that's the starting point... ;)
I think bottom line is that we all have some nonnegotiables on our list. I won't date someone who smokes, who is a substance abuser, unemployed, etc. I do prefer men closer to my own age, that are in good health and decent shape. I don't think this is any more or less unfair than men my age (44) who wish to date 30 year-olds. That is their choice, so it wouldn't be productive for me to date them anyway. Grousing about it and being critical of these men is pointless. Who am I to say I would be good for them and that they missed out on a "great catch?"
That's not to say I wouldn't fall for a man 15 years older than me. Anything is possible, and chemistry is impossible to predict.
That said, I think we are all entitled to be "choosy" on certain attributes, as long as our expectations are not unreasonable, and not looking for perfection. I think most of us are flexible to a certain degree, especially when there is an attraction to initiate things.
I did EH for 3 to 4 months a while ago.
Sparklepuss, I am very picky as well. I could sit all day on the street (as Carrie and the girls do on Sex and the City) looking at the men pass by and see maybe 3 I think are worth attention, and 2 of those would be too young and the other would be gay.
I have gone out with all the men on OLD who wanted to go out with me and who seemed likely to be nice and interesting for an evening. Eliminating many who seemed possible at first because 1) they didn't respond or they "ghosted," 2) they were way too short or too religious, I have only had two new dates a month. There have been two I really , really, like, and I think that's a miracle.
I have been tempted to try eHarmony in order to get a really good match, but from the posts here, I see that the eHarmony computer doesn't take into account the "must haves" a person has in mind. Too bad.
Hi Christy,
It's funny you should ask about eHarmony. I've been on and off with them a couple of times. I've never had a great match but I'm the eternal optimist. A friend of mine just joined, too. Here's the rub, our profiles are completely different yet we receive many of the same matches. Kinda makes you wonder about all those screening measures. I got into a heated email debate with them and I'm fed up. I tried to ask them about this and two times they sent me the same canned explanation about their 29 point matching process. Argh! Plus, height is a huge issue for me and I keep getting matches sent to me that are well below my minimum requirements. The last guy was 5'4"! Sorry, but that's 6 inches shorter than my minimum. I think they force matches just to keep members interested. I have yet to be impressed. Overall, I see eHarmony as big hat and no cattle.
I'm up to date #3, wish me luck!
This is the second really terrific guy I've met through eHarmony out of four. I've started the whole process with many men but only four have made it to a meeting since I joined in November.
The only problem I have, as all the men I've met have been very nice gentleman, is that there wasn't any chemistry. Mostly they were very nice to spend a dinner/drink with. I underlined gentlemen because the men I've met on Match and Yahoo have not all been gentlemen. Keep in mind there is still a weeding process just like in all other OLD.
P.S. A friend of mine is now married to a man she met on eHarmony. They got engaged about 7 months after they met and he was the first guy she met. She's been married a year now and they are very happy.
It sounds to me as though eHarmony is just a modern version of the "old-fashioned" computer dating service, with the computer in control. Yahoo and Match (and their imitators) are the (even more old-fashioned) "personals ads," allowing the lovelorn to present their case themselves (in their photos and profiles) and then browse among the other ads. I guess I now feel as though I am more likely to find what I am looking for by doing my own looking, on Yahoo/Match, etc., rather than letting the eHarmony computer decide.
I do have to giggle at the idea of eHarmony matching me up with some guy who's way too short...it would be a shock for both of us.
"Big hat, no cattle...."
THAT is hilarious!!! I can't wait to incorporate that into all of my day to day experiences!!
Just hilarious..!!! Thanks for a new one!
Tracy
LOL
>> I must have said no to over 100 men at least. So I am still sitting home not dating. Hmmm...something's wrong with this picture.<<
I'm going to go WAY out on a limb here and say that there might be some connection between the first fact and the second fact above! ;)
The "how picky should we be?" is a toughie, isn't it? Too picky, we sit at home and don't date. Not picky enough, we find ourselves wondering how a 15 minute cup of coffee can feel like hours, or we get burnt out on doing first-meets and get jaded about the entire experience.
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