eHarmony has redone their website

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
eHarmony has redone their website
15
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 5:14pm
And I am not sure I like it! It may just take some getting used to. High level it looks like it allows you more sorting functionality so you can sort your matches by what stage of communication you are in, gives you information on where the other person is if they have not replied to you yet (e.g., This person is Viewing your Questions) and gives you much better info on your closed matches which were all willy-nilly before with absolutely no order and sometimes you couldn't even see info about them. I'll have to experiment a little tonight and see how it goes but it is VERY different so far.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 9:30pm

Thanks.

It seems like a really expensive, cumbersome site.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 9:47pm

It is expensive and cumbersome, but I actually have had much better luck with it than with any other site. I have met more guys from there (although still none with chemistry) than from any other individual site and feel that although I have had a lot in common with these guys, that there just wasn't a spark. The main things that I DON'T like are the 1) not being able to communicate or see pictures at all if you are a non-member 2) the price 3) the stupid open ended questions! and 4) some of the hurtful reasons they allow you to use for why you are closing a match such as "I don't feel any chemistry" or "Based on statements in their profile, I am not interested in communicating with this match." It might be true, but it is pretty hurtful.

Things I like are 1) they send you matches (I don't go seeking a lot of guys on OLD sites and having them send guys to me is kinda nice) 2) the "screening" process you can do through the lengthy communication - if a guy mentions sex or something weird in is Must Haves/Can't Stands, it is a red flag to me and I have some interesting questions I use to see what kind of a person they are (at least in my mind) 3) the anonymity factor - you can stay anonymous until you decide to open communication.

Overall, I am satisfied with it but only slightly moreso than any other OLD site.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 9:58pm
Are you willing to share some of those questions you ask? If not, no prob. I'm just intrigued.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 10:15pm

you bet!

My favorite open ended question is "Tonight you can do anything you want, no penalties, no reprisals, and the cost is unimportant. What are you going to do?" I think this one tells a LOT about someone - I had one guy give me a BS, cockamamie story about how he had done all his living it up and partying and he would take money and give it all to charity and spread goodness around the world. Yeah, right. Sure you would! In that question, I am looking for a fun answer that shows some imagination and thought - not like they are trying to impress me.

Another one I usually ask is "What are you looking for in a relationship partner?". Sometimes you'll get the frou frou answer of "I'm looking for someone that can be my best friend as well as a lover. Some one kind and gentle who shares my every belief and thought and we can pursue our mutual goals together." Puke. I am looking for someone that describes things they like to do and characteristics they are looking for not a fairy tale list.

A multiple choice question I ask is "How much personal space do you find you need in a relationship?" The choices are: A) I don't have a great need for "personal space". I like lots of together time. B) I find my time spent working is enough personal time, the rest I like to spend with my partner. C) As long as I can get one night a week to myself, my personal space needs are met. D) When I'm with my partner I'm completely there, but I do need considerable time for personal reflection. The right answers for me are D or a free form answer saying something about how alone time is important or how as you get to know each other, together time is more important, something like that. WRONG answers are A or B! I don't need a siamese twin and I value my alone time that it is really important that the person I am with values it too.

There was one guy that asked me 2 sex questions in the multiple choice questions. He got closed right then. Then there was the weird guy that kept IM'ing me after I closed him and he had asked me an open ended question something like "What intrigues you about my profile?" Ummm. Dude, you contacted me and we're going through the motions, why does something in your profile have to intrigue me? I should have known then, but I was stupid!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 03-15-2005 - 11:03pm

Tickle has a Marriage section and I joined that one for awhile. Same "scientific" questionnaire stuff, only cheaper. And it has the same levels of communication. One of the questions you can choose to ask is "what is the craziest thing you have ever done". Interesting.

I enjoyed the eHarmony questionnaire, and the results floored me. It was Myself!! Mind you, I also have always done Cosmopolitan mag questionnaires too.

Left eh because none of the matches they sent me had pics. I don't pay to see and possibly have to reject people. Also they were all in their early to mid-50s, and I would really prefer someone close to my age (46). I used to have 48 as my limit in a match, but then I *met* John and his Dog on this board and figured 49 could be fun too.

Sounds like your having fun with eh. That's great!

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